Falcon Ridge Ranch Month 2: BPD d13 in residential treatment center

[lbjnltx]

dear gamegirl,

i asked the nurse at the clements clinic this question and she visited w/dr. clements about my BPDd-13... .his response was a solid... .it is up to the patient to follow the recommendations following the test.  ie: therapy, meds, supplements, exercise, etc.

the individual therapist said that they might add neurobio feedback therapy to my BPDd-13's regimen as the result of the spect scan test.

i'm not well versed on biofeedback therapy... .time to do more research.

in the end, dr. clements, understanding all of the issues by BPDd-13 deals with as well as our financial situation did not recommend the spect scan at this time.  his advice was for BPDd-13 to continue the program at falcon ridge and in the event that she "gets stuck" to call him back.

my ? again, in your opinion, would a frontal lobe injury as a toddler not show up until 7-8 years later? 

lbjnltx

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[ingridp]

Hi lbj -

The T said that there would be two things that we (his 'care team' would be able to do if it turned out that there was physical brain damage of some sort:

1. It would probably be easier for my S to accept that there was something physically wrong with him, rather than mental. That made sense because of the huge stigma around mental illness. Saying that your cousin dropped you on your head is easier to tell your friends (a very big deal when you're 18 in chronologically age and hovering between 10 and 14 mental age.) If he does accept that he has a physical issue, he may be more prepared to comply with meds and therapy.

2. It may mean a change in meds and therapy modality, depending on where the damage is and how severe it is.

Hope that makes sense

Ingrid 

[GameGirl]

the individual therapist said that they might add neurobio feedback therapy to my BPDd-13's regimen as the result of the spect scan test.

They can do that now.  We do it with our kids.  It can be a very good self soothing technique.  You do not need a SPECT scan for that. 

[lbjnltx]

dear gamegirl,

talked to BPDd-13's individual therapist yesterday.  asked her if BPDd-13 told her where the voice (a low whisper) seems to come from.  BPDd-13 says voice and low sad music is coming from inside her head.

what is this significant of?

also, therapist said BPDd-13 is on the waiting list for neurofeedback therapy.  doesn't know how long it will be before her turn comes up.  therapist once more requested the spect scan.  I asked her if seeing a neurologist would suffice... .she said spect scan is more detailed and the known results would help the neurofeedback therapy be more affective/efficient.  she is trying to find a way to get the test funded... .i don't really expect that to happen.  we are waiting to see if the insurance will pay for the 15 days of the residential treatment center that it is SUPPOSED to cover... .perhaps we can use that $ to pay for the spect scan... .will have to get husband on board with that one.

thanks for your time.

lbjnltx

[lbjnltx]

today we had family therapist session #5  COMMUNICATION

at the start of the session therapist asked BPDd-13 to talk about how she dealt with the shutting down and comments at the end of the last therapist session.  BPDd-13 said "i told myself it's hard to do what is right so just suck it up and do it anyway.  I know my parents care about me and have my best interest at heart.  when I shut down I wasn't able to express my feelings and I end up stuffing them down and I know later i'll just explode."

       

the session continued with a pretty good list of communication skills that are healthy for the whole family. 

t asked what we would like to discuss next week... .i offered up "control"

who we have control over, what we can control, how that can create problems in the family.

later on today the therapist called me.  she said BPDd-13 had started to get upset a few times during the session... ."gave me that look.  you know the one. when she stares you down".  yeah... .i know the one ok.  anyway she said that she quietly told BPDd-13 to "stay with me on this"  and BPDd-13 kept it together and finished the session... .dad and I were totally unaware that she was on the brink of unraveling... .got to hand it to the t... .she is pretttttty good!

it also appears that therapist is getting a pretty clear picture of the puzzle.  referring to some of her behaviors in BPD terminology.

BPDd-13 has yet to ask when she gets to come home or how long she will have to stay at falcon ridge... .i finally feel safe believing her statements that she knows she needs to be at the residential treatment center and work on herself.  in a letter to her little "adopted" sister (our 8 year old neighbor) she wrote "the place I am at is a place to get treatment.  I am here because I was making bad choices for myself.  I am not here as a punishment, I am here to get a second chance.  I don't want you to make the same bad choices I made so listen to your mom.  she loves you and so do i."  aw... .it was so sweet and really solidified in my mind that BPDd-13 is making real... .not contrived statements based on new ways of thinking and seeing her world.

to all the skeptics who say it won't do any good to send someone to therapy who doesn't want to be in therapy... .i say... .you don't know until you try.  I am sure there will be ups and downs and adjusting to life back at home in the end will be a challenge... .and I am also sure that my precious daughter will be much improved along with our relationship.

thanks for reading

lbjnltx

[LionDreamer]

in a letter to her little "adopted" sister (our 8 year old neighbor) she wrote "the place I am at is a place to get treatment.  I am here because I was making bad choices for myself.  I am not here as a punishment, I am here to get a second chance.  I don't want you to make the same bad choices I made so listen to your mom.  she loves you and so do i."  aw... .it was so sweet and really solidified in my mind that BPDd-13 is making real... .not contrived statements based on new ways of thinking and seeing her world.

Priceless!  Sounds like something is going right.   Hope it continues,

LD

[qcarolr]

lbjnltx - oh this is so good. sounds like your D is truly getting why she is there, and she seems willing to do the work. I am so glad this is working for her, and sounds like good therapy for the family as well.

Keep posting these updates - we can learn so much from each other as well.

qcr

[whiletheseasonspass]

in a letter to her little "adopted" sister (our 8 year old neighbor) she wrote "the place I am at is a place to get treatment.  I am here because I was making bad choices for myself.  I am not here as a punishment, I am here to get a second chance.  I don't want you to make the same bad choices I made so listen to your mom.  she loves you and so do i."  aw... .it was so sweet and really solidified in my mind that BPDd-13 is making real... .not contrived statements based on new ways of thinking and seeing her world.

Dear lbj,

I agree with Liondreamer - priceless!  And I agree with qcarol... .that your D is understanding why she is there. 

Passing out the advice to an 8 year old... .to "listen to your mom-  she loves you!"  That is a HUGE WOW statement about how well your D is responding to being there.  She must have lived in a very scared place prior to this RTC place but there- she feels safe and it feels right to her... .and she can be herself and express her feelings - and know it is a good thing.   I bet she feels a lot less scared of herself at that RTC.  It is so clear that she knew that what was going on inside her prior to being there was abnormal- and it must have been very scary... .

This is amazing and wonderful!

wtsp

[qcarolr]

Passing out the advice to an 8 year old... .to "listen to your mom-  she loves you!"  That is a HUGE WOW statement about how well your D is responding to being there.  She must have lived in a very scared place prior to this RTC place but there- she feels safe and it feels right to her... .and she can be herself and express her feelings - and know it is a good thing.   I bet she feels a lot less scared of herself at that RTC.  It is so clear that she knew that what was going on inside her prior to being there was abnormal- and it must have been very scary... .

I do have a passing thru sadness to acceptance feeling that comes up from lbjnltx and others who have the courage to find a good residential treatment center for their child - how it feels as a parent that we have to let go of 'fixing' this ourselves - that being a good, loving parent just is not enough - even with all the T's and books and support around us. We have to let go. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for so many parents on this board that cross this difficult place in their lives.

qcr

[ingridp]

Hi lbj -

Sorry - I forgot to answer part of your question:

Yes, brain damage can only show up much later, especially as the injury occurred when he was so young. The brain is not fully developed, physically, in a toddler, and he was not using that part of his brain fully yet, either. As he grew older and developed, learning new skills and maturing cognitively, he started using different parts of the brain. As that happened, the injured possibly part into play, and started causing problems. We don't know which part/s of his brain may or may not be injured until I get the MRI done though.

I really am so glad for you! This is such a validation for you - absorb it all and bask in the sun for a while. 

With love

 

Ingrid

[GameGirl]

dear gamegirl,

talked to BPDd-13's individual therapist yesterday.  asked her if BPDd-13 told her where the voice (a low whisper) seems to come from.  BPDd-13 says voice and low sad music is coming from inside her head.

what is this significant of?

also, therapist said BPDd-13 is on the waiting list for neurofeedback therapy.  doesn't know how long it will be before her turn comes up.  t once more requested the spect scan.  i asked her if seeing a neurologist would suffice... .she said spect scan is more detailed and the known results would help the neurofeedback therapy be more affective/efficient.  

thanks for your time.

lbjnltx

If it is coming from inside her head, and she is not hearing it as if another person is actually speaking to her, then she is not experiencing  psychotic hallucinations.   That is good news.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

ok, if it's not psychotic hallucinations... .what are the other possibilities?

lbjnltx

[pennifree]

dear lbjnltx,

I know that this may sound way out there, but if your D is hearing voices/music and seeing things in her perripheral vision that are not there, is there any possiblity that it is simple dehydration?  Meds can often require our bodies to consume more fluid than we realize and we don't always feel as thirsty as needed to get that extra fluid.  Like I said, it is simplistic and perhaps her care team have already taken this possiblity into consideration but I would guess that taking in extra water would not be harmful to try and see if that make any difference.

I agree with you on the therapy issue.  My S did not necessarily go into therapy overly willingly but he did get a benefit from it.  Not as much as he could have, but far more than he would have had we not insisted and made that a condition of his continued living with us.  I firmly believe that it is only because of that therapy that he is even still alive as he had been determined to take his own life prior to going.  Humans are pretty amazing in that they can hear all sorts of things, even when they don't want to, and those things come back to them at a later time when they are more ready/willing to hear and accept them.  No learning ever goes to waste IMHO.

Glad to hear that things are going well with your D and I hope that her stay will continue to yield insightfulness and knowledge.

Take good care,


pennifree   

[GameGirl]

ok, if it's not psychotic hallucinations... .what are the other possibilities?

lbjnltx

probably something called ruminating/instrusive thoughts.  It is a part of depression and anxiety.  It is like getting thoughts in your head that pop out of nowhere and that you can't stop.

[lbjnltx]

hmmmmmmm

thanks gamegirl.

and to pennifree,

i have seen people hallucinate when they were dehydrated... .pretty scary indeed.  don't know that this is the situation w/BPDd-13 as this has been going on (supposedly) since last year.  the first time I was made aware was march 25 of this year.

thanks for your input ladies... .you guys are so nice to devote any of  your precious time to help me try to figure this out.

lbjnltx