Tomorrow is her...

[Depression = 72% of members]

 Daughters second birthday. I really wanted to be there for that. It would have completed the family that I wanted. I was doing so well today until this popped into my head. I wish things would have turned out better, but she cheated on me and I can't put up with that and deserve better.

I really do miss her daughter. She always said that I never wanted to spend time with her, but that's not true. I just wanted to make sure that we were okay before I got too involved in her life because I guess I knew this was going to happen.

Who knows. I am just really down and don't have anyone else to really talk to about this stuff. I am going to a friends house to watch the game here in a few, but I just feel like curling up on the couch like I have done the past few days. 

[helpinghand123]

 Daughters second birthday. I really wanted to be there for that. It would have completed the family that I wanted. I was doing so well today until this popped into my head. I wish things would have turned out better, but she cheated on me and I can't put up with that and deserve better.

I really do miss her daughter. She always said that I never wanted to spend time with her, but that's not true. I just wanted to make sure that we were okay before I got too involved in her life because I guess I knew this was going to happen.

Who knows. I am just really down and don't have anyone else to really talk to about this stuff. I am going to a friends house to watch the game here in a few, but I just feel like curling up on the couch like I have done the past few days. 

[moonleaf]

Hello HH: I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling today. It's really a shame you can't be with your daughter on her second birthday.

My ex uBPDBF also used to say that I didn't want to spend any time with him. But, in my case, I spent a lot of time with him, but since I couldn't spend 24/7 with him (I had a full time job and other commitments), in his mind I wasn't spending any time with him. He used to even complain about this when I had to wash the dishes. He would say I was spending too much time washing the dishes and not enough time with him!

I guess what I'm trying to say is nothing ever was enough time for him. So even if you had spent more time with your ex, it wouldn't have been enough. People with BPD are like big black holes that can never be filled. A r/s with them is doomed to failure unless you happen to be a martyr/saint.

I hope you feel better soon.

[helpinghand123]

Hello HH: I'm so sorry to hear how you're feeling today. It's really a shame you can't be with your daughter on her second birthday.

My ex uBPDBF also used to say that I didn't want to spend any time with him. But, in my case, I spent a lot of time with him, but since I couldn't spend 24/7 with him (I had a full time job and other commitments), in his mind I wasn't spending any time with him. He used to even complain about this when I had to wash the dishes. He would say I was spending too much time washing the dishes and not enough time with him!

I guess what I'm trying to say is nothing ever was enough time for him. So even if you had spent more time with your ex, it wouldn't have been enough. People with BPD are like big black holes that can never be filled. A r/s with them is doomed to failure unless you happen to be a martyr/saint.

I hope you feel better soon.

Not my daughter hers. I really wanted to have a family with my ex. To marry her, to live together for the rest of my life happy with her. I guess the dream will have to play out another day, with another woman.

[2010]

Go to a market/deli or bakery and buy a single slice of cake and place a birthday candle on it. Buy a red balloon. Go to a park nearby and find a picnic bench. Light the candle, make a wish for her and blow out the candle. Eat the cake. When you are ready to leave. Take the balloon to the middle of the part and release it saying your goodbyes.