Most people are aware that BPD dysregulation has something to do with the frontal cortex not regulated the emotional limbic structures properly. Still, behavior is mystifying.
This is a little guide on how to understand and communicate with people with frontal lobe damage. You will see a lot of overlap here.
www.lcc.edu/mhap/CARING/Caring19.2010.pdfMaybe this will help folks understand and not take the offensive behavior so personally.