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Author Topic: Month One RTC: DSD11  (Read 603 times)
Schism
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Relationship status: Married
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« on: February 05, 2013, 08:56:47 AM »

It has been once month since my daughter was enrolled in the RTC in Douglasville Georgia.  It has been over a month since she has been home, prior to admission to GA, she was in short term for 12 days (for her fourth time). 

Progress in this month:

Next to none. She refuses to show herself to anyone other than the therapist, and me and my dh.  In groups, school, with the doctor, and during campus time, she is the little girl she wants them to see.  Our family sessions have been brutal, she refuses to participate half of the time.  Has demanded to have us come take her home; when asked why she now gives two reasons: the food is better here, and she can control us better than she can at the facility.  She has admitted that she wants to come home so badly because it is getting harder and harder to "fake" herself and control herself around the other parts of the program.  This is starting to ring true as she has currently lost privileges and has been in trouble a few times this week.  We have our first face to face family session on Friday.  We are bringing all of the children, (all girls: 12, 8, and 6) this time.  She hasn't applied any of the techniques she has learned through DBT, she hates validation and refuses to try to apply it or accept it.

Most recent diagnosis:

Borderline Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Antisocial Personality Disorder

ODD (I think that is a given!)

Possible mood disorder; undetermined

Current Medications:

She was on Wellbutrin and Seroquel when she entered this facility.  They do not feel that medications are helping our dsd11 at all; they are just "pills she is popping". They have since taken her off of the Wellbutrin, and cut her dose of Seroquel in half. 

Interactions with her family:

Next to none.  I send her at least two letters a week; our youngest (which is DSD11 step-sister) is the only one who has taken time to draw/write letters since she has been gone; and neither of us have received any mail from her.  She gets phone calls on Tuesdays and Fridays, so far she has only called me and my mom.  She has only spoken to my dh 2 times since she has been gone.  We get a fifteen minute call on those days, and I do not get hardly any information out of her.  She does not ask about her sisters or me or her dad, she just kind of sits on the line.  I try to open communication by getting her to explain the program to me, how it works, what she is learning in DBT and the answers are all the same "nothing, nothing, nothing, come pick me up". 

I am excited and nervous to see her on Friday.  The last time we had a family session with all children it was a fiasco.  We will see.   
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
qcarolr
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Relationship status: Married to DH since 1976
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« Reply #1 on: February 05, 2013, 09:24:41 AM »

Hang in there Schism - it takes some time for the barriers to come down and the 'real' girl to show up. Must feel so scary to be pushed out of the comfort of coping strategies that have worked outside her family in the past.

Good luck with the family session - keep your expectations mellow.

qcr
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The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better. (Dom Helder)
lbjnltx
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we can all evolve into someone beautiful


« Reply #2 on: February 05, 2013, 09:56:28 AM »



Progress in this month:

Next to none. She refuses to show herself to anyone other than the therapist, and me and my dh.  In groups, school, with the doctor, and during campus time, she is the little girl she wants them to see.  Our family sessions have been brutal, she refuses to participate half of the time.  Has demanded to have us come take her home; when asked why she now gives two reasons: the food is better here, and she can control us better than she can at the facility.  She has admitted that she wants to come home so badly because it is getting harder and harder to "fake" herself and control herself around the other parts of the program.  This is starting to ring true as she has currently lost privileges and has been in trouble a few times this week.  We have our first face to face family session on Friday.  We are bringing all of the children, (all girls: 12, 8, and 6) this time.  She hasn't applied any of the techniques she has learned through DBT, she hates validation and refuses to try to apply it or accept it.

Real progress is very slow Schism... .  painful and frustrating for you I know.   I think there is another way to view the situation... .  she is aware that she is presenting a "fake" self... .  that is a foundation from which to build.  That her individual T is seeing all of this is good... .  and is surely sharing all of her observations/recommendations with your d's treatment team.  That she has lost privileges shows that she isn't being the little girl of everyones' dreams... .  right?  There is accountability and that is good.

 



Interactions with her family:

Next to none.  I send her at least two letters a week; our youngest (which is DSD11 step-sister) is the only one who has taken time to draw/write letters since she has been gone; and neither of us have received any mail from her.  She gets phone calls on Tuesdays and Fridays, so far she has only called me and my mom.  She has only spoken to my dh 2 times since she has been gone.  We get a fifteen minute call on those days, and I do not get hardly any information out of her.  She does not ask about her sisters or me or her dad, she just kind of sits on the line.  I try to open communication by getting her to explain the program to me, how it works, what she is learning in DBT and the answers are all the same "nothing, nothing, nothing, come pick me up". 

Until she realizes that she will be there until she has done the work, practiced the skills consistantly, knows you and the rest of the family love and support her, she will continue to want you to rescue her.  The obvious answer is ... .  Don't do it.  Course you know that... .  and at times naturally wonder if the right decision was made... .  it was.



I am excited and nervous to see her on Friday.  The last time we had a family session with all children it was a fiasco.  We will see.   

I hope that much good will come of your visit... .  if she is abusive towards you or the other children... .  have boundaries and let the T guide the session... .  While I am not recommending that you ignore the direction of the T, I can tell you from first hand experience that some T's will let it go to far.  This is a family illness and the needs and protection of all the members deserve consideration... .  not just the student enrolled in the program.

Hang in there mom... .  this is the hardest part of treatment.

lbj
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