Right or wrong?

[standfree]

Is it right or wrong to start dating another girl so soon after ending it with my exBPD.

It's been 2 weeks NC from my exBPD after our latest bust up, which was probably the biggest bust up of them all, i never knew some-one could be so cold & heartless. The relationship had been going seriously downhill for 6 months previously with many recycles, I had many emotional breakdowns during previous NC, but this time I don’t feel so down about it, even after the horrible things she said, I was the one who suffered from mental illness, I was a bad father, I was paranoid etc. I think maybe over the last 6 months I started to rebel against her behaviour more looking for answers for her behaviour, which I never got, infact I’m not quite sure what I did ever get from the relationship, maybe a good sex life, but that soon stopped, I don't even remember receiving any gifts from her bithrdays/christmas etc, although she had many from me. I of course still think about her, but there is no tears this time, I don’t have my mobile glued to my hand anymore hoping to get a text, I don't have the urge to text her, but I do know I will bump into her very soon as we are involved in the same social circles. I don’t post often here, but I read everyone else’s stories & experiences & hurt. To be quite honest I think reading things on here has helped the way I see things now, there is no way back, I wont be recycled again, I’m not even going to be JUST friends, 2 years of my life wasted, due to someone else’s madness, I’m sorry I use the word madness, as my son also suffers from ADHD & I know it not easy to live with a mental illness, but madness best describes her behaviour.

I'm right or wrong to start dating this other girl, that I have known for quite some time, but have only just noticed that we have great chemistry together & no not the same chemistry I first had with my exBPD, that was more seduction that attracted me there. I also know this girl is very interested after some family member have told me that she is asking questions about me to them, very positive signs, I spent quite a lot of time with her the other night although there was other company there also, I acuity felt myself again, I could just be me, laugh & joke, share onions & felt so at ease. Should I now make the next move & ask her for a date or is it too soon after all the madness, my biggest fear is if some of my experiences while with my exBPD affects the possibly of this new relationship... .

[Deleted]

Hey,

IMHO, date whenever you feel ready. Cliche know, but if you feel that your past relationship would not affect your new relationship then go for it!. There's nothing wrong with that. If you have done the healing and are able to accept and move on from your exBPD then yes.

Good luck!