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Author Topic: The rescuer in me is unleashed, again  (Read 1139 times)
Grey Kitty
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: Separated
Posts: 7182



« Reply #60 on: September 12, 2013, 02:22:57 PM »

Yeah, it really is sad to realize that what you want from somebody isn't something they have to offer.

   GK
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livednlearned
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Family other
Relationship status: Married
Posts: 12866



« Reply #61 on: September 12, 2013, 03:06:14 PM »

I finally unfriended the old/new girl from Facebook.  It is a sad day for me.  I think that's part of my problem, I didn't want to mourn the loss of someone who I felt so strongly for.  She's not dead, but lost from my life, forever even.  That is such a strange thought to me.  And it's so crazy to me how all these feelings got ramped up and I never even saw her in person. 

Yah, when I went through something similar (reconnecting to old b/f without ever actually seeing him again) I told my T it felt like drug withdrawal. She said physiologically, it is the same thing.

I'm beginning to think a huge part of my dysfunction has been living in fantasy worlds I build in my head. Either that, or constantly seeking them out in real life. If it was a bad fantasy, I would feel anxiety. If it was a good fantasy, I would feel an almost compulsive attraction, or even adrenaline, which made me ignore the danger or pain.

When I stopped letting myself build fantasies, I had to wade through a whole bunch of painful feelings. I'm not done sorting my way through all of them, but enough to realize now that a lot of what I was doing before wasn't real.

You know how people here always say that other people are boring? I finally realized that it's me who is boring     Kinda hurt going through that process... .actually, it hurt like h@ll. But now it seems almost funny. I don't know why I was so afraid to feel my feelings. Being boring and lonely isn't nearly as awful as I thought it was going to be.
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