my wife has become completely disconnected from reality, what should I do?

[Depression = 72% of members]

hey Guys and Gals... .

My dear wife who most likely has developed BPD over the last few years has put me in the last few months in a really difficult situation. The childrens aid society made a no contact order against me, made a lot of claims against me, and generally has been holding the position that my wife is abused and im the abuser. I have been working with the authorities and psychiatrists to clear things up, and everyone says that I have perfect mental health and they mention my wife should go for a psychological assessment. Even at the mention of it my wife says she has no problems.

  The reality is though, that my wife has been extremely emotionally unstable and exhibiting all the symptoms of BPD, but is in complete denial and blames me for EVERYTHING. It is getting to the point that when someone like my doctor speaks to her, she just says "everything is his fault! it happened because of him!", but there is no connection to what she is saying, and any facts in reality... .

  I'm really worried to due to the support she has gotten in the last few months that she is a victim and everyone absolving her of any responsibility in the relationship that she has decided this is the new status quo, and has completely disconnected herself from her actions. It is honestly scary at this point.

  I would go so far as to say I feel she is seriously in danger of a complete disconnect from reality. She gets welfare now, has no responsibilities, and can blame me for everything and do as she pleases. I am not sure what to do.

  Next week we have a court date to discuss the case, and with all the strong support from psychiatrists and a psychological assessment my lawyer will be probably putting a motion forward to get childrens aid society out of our life as they have no justification to be accusing me of anything with all evidence pointing to my normal mental health. With this happening I'm scared of the reaction from my wife, and what may occur in the future as she is currently completely unpredictable and impossible to reason with... .

  I know the general ideas presented in the book and how to handle them, but I do not even see a line of communication that allows me to speak normally with my wife. Its like talking to someone who is unable to process anything you say or even understand anything said... .

  What should I do?

[allblameonme]

hey Guys and Gals... .

My dear wife who most likely has developed BPD over the last few years has put me in the last few months in a really difficult situation. The childrens aid society made a no contact order against me, made a lot of claims against me, and generally has been holding the position that my wife is abused and im the abuser. I have been working with the authorities and psychiatrists to clear things up, and everyone says that I have perfect mental health and they mention my wife should go for a psychological assessment. Even at the mention of it my wife says she has no problems.

  The reality is though, that my wife has been extremely emotionally unstable and exhibiting all the symptoms of BPD, but is in complete denial and blames me for EVERYTHING. It is getting to the point that when someone like my doctor speaks to her, she just says "everything is his fault! it happened because of him!", but there is no connection to what she is saying, and any facts in reality... .

  I'm really worried to due to the support she has gotten in the last few months that she is a victim and everyone absolving her of any responsibility in the relationship that she has decided this is the new status quo, and has completely disconnected herself from her actions. It is honestly scary at this point.

  I would go so far as to say I feel she is seriously in danger of a complete disconnect from reality. She gets welfare now, has no responsibilities, and can blame me for everything and do as she pleases. I am not sure what to do.

  Next week we have a court date to discuss the case, and with all the strong support from psychiatrists and a psychological assessment my lawyer will be probably putting a motion forward to get childrens aid society out of our life as they have no justification to be accusing me of anything with all evidence pointing to my normal mental health. With this happening I'm scared of the reaction from my wife, and what may occur in the future as she is currently completely unpredictable and impossible to reason with... .

  I know the general ideas presented in the book and how to handle them, but I do not even see a line of communication that allows me to speak normally with my wife. Its like talking to someone who is unable to process anything you say or even understand anything said... .

  What should I do?

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[Blazing Star]

Hi allblameonme,

It sounds like a tough situation right now for you.   

A good place to direct your question would be over on the Leaving Board: Family law, divorce and custody, folks there are experienced in situations like yours and will have some advice for you.

You mention a book, is it this one?

Splitting / Protecting yourself While Divorcing a Borderline or a Narcissist

This is highly recommended for going through a divorce and often people will give their lawyers a copy which helps them understand the best way to approach the pwBPD.

Hope that helps.

Love Blazing Star

[allblameonme]

should I repost this to that forum?