Doubts about the borderline

[Hannibal Heyes]

Dear people,

Thank you so much for having this safe place for us, we share so many things.

I have a question, but I know inside I have to move one.

I was ''best friends'' with my borderliner, the label he gave me all of a sudden. He knew for awhile I was in love with him, and he always said, give me time to heal (recovering from drugs), you're probably the best one for me to have a relationship with. We're both gay men, and he is from a very troubled background (has kids, no contact with family). To give him time was fine by me, we developed a good friendship, I was there in times of pain. There was a man he swa, and I always had that gutt feeling, that that man liked him more than friends. In October my dad passed away and my friend was very caring for me. I did put a picture of the two of them on facebook, I aksed him about it, and he said, sweetheart, that is just a friend, my sweetheart. He hid the pic and had more pics of the two of us. When he came to console me I asked him, not pushing him, that it were to be okay if he loved someone else and he said, no give me time. I then aksed him how he would feel if I were to fell in love with someone else and he responded by saying that that would not be a good idea. We booked a trip together and said to the travel agent were were a couple, but by then he was involved with that other guy. I found out when I visited him at his drug clinic, when one of the other patients noticed me and said that he had a diffrent boyfriend. Then he had to tell... he then blamed me for leaving the friendship and that he never promised me anything. He explained that he hadn't told me because of my dad, and it came to a point where I had to console him! Being the fool that I am, I was open for the friendship and he talked to me again, gave me his new number... I was supposed to meet him on monday 25, but he told me that I hurt him badly and that it was time for me to move on. He did it in a adult like way whichj makes me quesiton the borderline. Or can they do that? He has now blocked me from his whatsapp. So confusing, I want ot know if he has ever loved me... it is sad

[santa]

This person did not love you. I'm sorry to say that, but it's the truth. They were manipulating you to serve their own interests. If you felt something for them, don't beat yourself up about it. Falling for their tricks is completely normal. Just recognize that you have nothing to gain from making yourself vulnerable to this person as they will only use it against you or as a means of manipulating you more for their own benefit. They are selfish.

You've got to regroup, make peace with what happened, forgive yourself, and carry on with your life. You have nothing to gain from dealing with this person.

[necchi]

Not wanting to minimize the pain at all, but what other traits would you link with BPD from this person,... Just to get a global understanding

[RecycledNoMore]

HH, I hear you, have you read your post and compared them to the posts of others here? Do you see the similarities? I have learned here at bpdfamily the actions really do speak louder than words, think about what he said VS what he actually did... .does it feel like love to you HH?

You deserve better, we all do

[TakingWingAtLast]

recycledNomore,

I like this!  It's truly weird to believe that the other person loves you when the actions just don't support that!   That disconnect is a hallmark sign of this!

d

[necchi]

Man dpendberg! It will fool you hit&&&less!

[necchi]

Learned it here :... .there words don't match their actions

[TakingWingAtLast]

Me too!  I didn't get it until getting on here myself.  Thank goodness for this site!

[Hannibal Heyes]

Not wanting to minimize the pain at all, but what other traits would you link with BPD from this person,... Just to get a global understanding

Drugs abuse, sex abuse, many relationships in the last 5 years, splitting, silence, rage, you name he has it. That's why the ''civil'' words he used to end it, surprised me