Living in limbo

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I have decided that I MUST leave the relationship with my undiagnosed BPDGF.  After 18 years of being together I realized that there is absolutely no compromise.  I'd been on these boards before and tried to do my best to communicate effectively and it was working for a while but not a long term solution. 

The current situation is financially rooted and I find myself working part time with a minimal income which cannot support my basic monthly bills.  This is the part that prevents me from actually leaving the household.  Unfortunately I have to depend on my S/O to give me money to cover those bills.  It's very long and complicated story how I got to the point of having to depend on her but here is the short version.  We had investments together that we had to liquidate and reinvest in another property that was lost during Katrina.  Of course that property was in her name and it had the largest cash value so I agreed to reinvest in that property for "our" retirement.  The property was sold last year and she eventually took all of the money and is now holding me hostage.  After all I knew about BPDs and how they are financially incompetent how did I not see this coming.  She really played me well!

I know that this is her way of hanging on to me but I've started to detach and trying to live as independently as I can for now.  My mother lives about 75 miles away so I go to her house a couple of times a month for about 10-15 days.  I'm also working on getting a full time job.  That will be the biggest step for me to move on, but until then I'm trying to have as little contact with her as possible.  Of course I get the nasty text, the text rationalizing why she has control of the money, the text that she stills loves and cares for me and always did.  I just don't respond.

I'm trying my best to be positive and keep my head up.  If any of you have advice to how you left or how I can stay positive... . I would appreciate your comments.

Thanks

Soncik

[sonick]

I have decided that I MUST leave the relationship with my undiagnosed BPDGF.  After 18 years of being together I realized that there is absolutely no compromise.  I'd been on these boards before and tried to do my best to communicate effectively and it was working for a while but not a long term solution. 

The current situation is financially rooted and I find myself working part time with a minimal income which cannot support my basic monthly bills.  This is the part that prevents me from actually leaving the household.  Unfortunately I have to depend on my S/O to give me money to cover those bills.  It's very long and complicated story how I got to the point of having to depend on her but here is the short version.  We had investments together that we had to liquidate and reinvest in another property that was lost during Katrina.  Of course that property was in her name and it had the largest cash value so I agreed to reinvest in that property for "our" retirement.  The property was sold last year and she eventually took all of the money and is now holding me hostage.  After all I knew about BPDs and how they are financially incompetent how did I not see this coming.  She really played me well!

I know that this is her way of hanging on to me but I've started to detach and trying to live as independently as I can for now.  My mother lives about 75 miles away so I go to her house a couple of times a month for about 10-15 days.  I'm also working on getting a full time job.  That will be the biggest step for me to move on, but until then I'm trying to have as little contact with her as possible.  Of course I get the nasty text, the text rationalizing why she has control of the money, the text that she stills loves and cares for me and always did.  I just don't respond.

I'm trying my best to be positive and keep my head up.  If any of you have advice to how you left or how I can stay positive... . I would appreciate your comments.

Thanks

Soncik

[Perfidy]

You live near the gulf? Oil and gas. Get in that line of work. 100k first year. $=freedom