With N.C. and R.O.-->anybody worry about what your ex is up to?

[ogopogodude]

With everything being soo quiet (FINALLY... !) and there is seemingly no tension and stress lately in my life and my teenagers  (non-BPD's), etc…. it is a bit eery and almost too good.

And now it seems that "all is quiet on the western front" (... . this is a phrase from world war 1 where the soldiers would look out of their trenches to see what the enemy was up to, and it seemed all calm at times)….

Now, with all the desire (& internal drive) of a BPD to create drama and chaos into my world and she isn't capable of creating any (yet)… isn't she got to be somewhere to cause damage in others' lives? I mean, ... there has to be "transference" of her aggression and all onto somebody else. I surmise that she is creating this drama in her parent's and siblings' lives.

So … now what?

Do I sit back and finally enjoy life? I have this urge to be 'doing something" … to prepare for the worst, … to get my arsenal of weaponry all cleaned and polished, ... waiting for the "offensive attack" so my defensive attack will be able to repel the onslaught of nonsense that is sure to come … or might come (I am not sure which at this point).

I do know that I am already well prepared. So, ... I guess I enjoy life like I used to, … put the beaaaatch out of my mind and go hit a bucket of balls at the range.

 

[bravhart1]

I know just what you mean. With our new "no text, phone call, email" status we are feeling a little weird. Like how could it have been just this easy?

Now I feel like I'm constantly waiting for the "other shoe to drop".

I know she is out there causing drama and I just wonder if it's going to bite us in the butt. She always had this way of "telegraphing" her next move. Like accusing us of cutting SD5's hair without asking (we didn't). And then a week later she cut ten inches off, without asking (of course).

Now we don't know what's going on in that head of hers... . kind of scary.

[ogopogodude]

well, ... I got contact from her today at noon'ish. As I was getting in to my car she left an item (bible talk item) on my car window. She was never religious like I was/is so I find this entertaining ….she pushes the envelope to see how far she can go.

She is not supposed to do things like this… she can get arrested if I call the police (seriously) as a restraining order is just that… to restrain a person to not communicate with another person that wants no communication.

But she does this type of thing about once a week (leaves sticky notes, etc)

[bravhart1]

And she counts on the fact that you won't call the police, and reads its as "protection" and feelings for her.

Then when she does do something you call the boundry on she will accuse you of betraying her and be even angrier at you.

[ogopogodude]

yep.

But I have to be boring as h*** to her and also to her BPD-afflicted family members

Don't respond. Don't respond. Don't respond.

It is the best thing to do…. to be boring.

A bear does not like a creature that is dead and not putting up a fight (to play dead) or another analogy: a vampire likes a lively-blood-victim with lots of adrenalin in their blood  (not boring blood, as it is just not as tasty).

[catnap]

yep.

But I have to be boring as h*** to her and also to her BPD-afflicted family members

Don't respond. Don't respond. Don't respond.

It is the best thing to do…. to be boring.

A bear does not like a creature that is dead and not putting up a fight (to play dead) or another analogy: a vampire likes a lively-blood-victim with lots of adrenalin in their blood  (not boring blood, as it is just not as tasty).

I agree, but do be aware that they sometimes will escalate. 

[david]

I view these quiet periods as walking through a rain forest (Vietnam) knowing full well that at any moment chaos will resume. PTSD makes total sense. Over time my radar has gotten quieter but I still keep alert when my gut tells me time is up with the peace. I am more right than wrong with that now. I have a video and audio recorder and she knows it. Our court order from 2010 states that when I pick the kids up she is to remain in her residence until I drive away. The judge actually looked directly at her and said that to her in court. The second time I went to pick the boys up after that she walked out and started coming towards my car. She was at least 20 yards away. I turned my video camera on, stood out of my car right next to my door, pointed it at her. She immediately turned around and walked back into her place. Tried two more times after that with the same response. Hasn't really tried it since.