I thought I could love him enough

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

I grew up in a semi normal family. Whatever they endured they worked through  it. I remember a night my mom was so angry with my dad that she ask  him to leave. I grabbed hold of my dad and he didn't leave. I believe that has led to my attraction to narcissists, and BPD people. I believe I can continue to show them the way.  But we can not. You can only fix you and if your change illliciets a change in someoone else than they are worth being with. If they don't then believe tharough their aqctions are showing who they are. If they show you theya are, believe them.  You will never ever be able to think or feel the way you do.



Ppwle may show who they are but briefly.  We knoww their feelings are short!nn

[allinasmile]

I grew up in a semi normal family. Whatever they endured they worked through  it. I remember a night my mom was so angry with my dad that she ask  him to leave. I grabbed hold of my dad and he didn't leave. I believe that has led to my attraction to narcissists, and BPD people. I believe I can continue to show them the way.  But we can not. You can only fix you and if your change illliciets a change in someoone else than they are worth being with. If they don't then believe tharough their aqctions are showing who they are. If they show you theya are, believe them.  You will never ever be able to think or feel the way you do.



Ppwle may show who they are but briefly.  We knoww their feelings are short!nn

[purpleavocado]

Very true. Sadly, there is no 'enough' for them. Trying to love them enough is futile and exhausting. Always put yourself first... that's not 'selfish,' it's survival.

[corraline]

You just think if you proved to them you love them enough they will stop hurting you and treat you well

Kind of futile

Its a never ending feed off of your energy

So I learned pretty quickly that i wasnt being loved in a healthy way pretty much right from the start so I kept pouring it into him instead of me. If i was loving myself I would have left a long time ago.

[itsnotme567]

I tried to do everything I could to make her feel loved but she just could not not see it or as I've read here I got to close and she dumped me before I could hurt her

[Fool for Love]

Very true. Sadly, there is no 'enough' for them. Trying to love them enough is futile and exhausting. Always put yourself first... that's not 'selfish,' it's survival.

^^^^^ this ... .