Seeing him around frequently - is a recycle likely?

[Popcorn71]

During the past week or so, I have seen my BPDexh several times.  Each time has been passing in our vehicles so no contact.  When this happens, I ignore him and don't wave or anything, which is what he did when he first left me.  But I can't help looking at him.  He seems to stare at me but not look happy.  This is strange after 9 months of not seeing him around at all.  He seems to be popping up everywhere now!  This must just be coincidence because he is working and could be anywhere each day.  My routine varies so the route I drive is different each day.  No way could either of us guess where the other is likely to be.

Anyway, I was wondering if this may lead to him contacting me.  Seeing him has meant that he is on my mind more at the moment.  Would this be true for him too?  I don't know why, but I have a weird feeling that I will hear from him soon.

Has anyone else experienced this?  If so, what happened?

[Xstaticaddict]

It's been 6 months NC and it hasn't happened to me thankfully. I don't know how I'd react if she did contact me at this point. I like to think that I'd have the strength to ignore her or let her know I have no interest in communicating with her, but i know that as i process things i still play out little scenarios of what i would say to her to express my frustration and pain. (i know though NEVER to do this even if she asked)

What will you do if he does take it as a sign and reaches out?

[Popcorn71]

Like you, Xstaticaddict, I don't know how I'd react. 

I know it's for the best if I never hear from him again, but also I'd like the opportunity to show him how much better I am doing without him in my life.  I'd like to think I could calmly talk to him and tell him I'm doing well and show him how strong I am now.  I'd also like to see him show some remorse but I know that will never happen.  However, I suspect that I'd become a nervous wreck again, if in his presence.  I'd probably end up being upset and emotional and give off totally the opposite impression that I'd want to.  I just don't know.

The last time I spoke with him face to face was at the court to final our divorce 5 months ago.  I managed to keep my cool then but did forget most of the preprepared speech I had in mind.  He seems to make me get a bit flustered.  However, on the way out of court I was genuinely happy because it had gone exactly how I had wanted it to and I had preserved my finances which were at risk.  He then became the flustered one.  He followed me to another office even though he didn't need to be there and just hung around looking at me with sad puppy dog eyes.  I actually had to tell him to leave and just walked away from him without a backward glance.  At that point, I definately had all the power!  Hopefully if he does contact me, I will keep that cool calm air about me again.

[Xstaticaddict]

Wow, your last interaction sounds amazing. I wish i had such a strong last encounter. Hopefully he won't call but if he does, hopefully you'll be able to remember your court victory feeling and find the strength to stay true to yourself and your need for peace in that moment. Good luck.