Moving

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

So My relationship with exBPD ended in mid-march. I have been in NC from the beginning of april. I am doing better now. Rarely do i get down. Even i dont get affected emotionally if i am analyzing an event from the past.

Unfortunately (or may be fortunately!), I am moving to another country in a week. I am starting to work and settle there with lots of ___ to handle like find a place, rent a car, get around and work. The problem is i feel that in the beginning i will be lonely there. i will be new in town. at the same time, i am currently having a lot of free time (which was good so that i would go through healing).


so your thoughts, would i feel down cause i will be lonely with no support system (friends and family) ? or would it be better cause i will get myself busy settling ?

My friends find me very strong to travel to the other country in the beginning of april, setting my emotions aside and finding a job in a very competitive market settled city. During April (2 weeks after the break up) I did not feel that down except at night before sleeping. I was busy focusing on the tasks at hand to get a job. Finally, when i signed a contract and returned to my home country. It just hit me. I was more depressed. I started feeling the feelings. I started to indulge in the healing process. I am stating this cause i know it might differ from one person to the other and i think this is the way it works for me.

[antjs]

So My relationship with exBPD ended in mid-march. I have been in NC from the beginning of april. I am doing better now. Rarely do i get down. Even i dont get affected emotionally if i am analyzing an event from the past.

Unfortunately (or may be fortunately!), I am moving to another country in a week. I am starting to work and settle there with lots of ___ to handle like find a place, rent a car, get around and work. The problem is i feel that in the beginning i will be lonely there. i will be new in town. at the same time, i am currently having a lot of free time (which was good so that i would go through healing).


so your thoughts, would i feel down cause i will be lonely with no support system (friends and family) ? or would it be better cause i will get myself busy settling ?

My friends find me very strong to travel to the other country in the beginning of april, setting my emotions aside and finding a job in a very competitive market settled city. During April (2 weeks after the break up) I did not feel that down except at night before sleeping. I was busy focusing on the tasks at hand to get a job. Finally, when i signed a contract and returned to my home country. It just hit me. I was more depressed. I started feeling the feelings. I started to indulge in the healing process. I am stating this cause i know it might differ from one person to the other and i think this is the way it works for me.

[SunflowerFields]

Congratulations on moving to a new country! That is an exciting event 

What a great time to meet new people! Have you heard of meetup and internations? There you can find different events and mingle with like-minded country- or English-speaking countrymen (and women   )

www.meetup.com

internations.org

Give them a try! 

[Red Sky]

Ok, I've moved around a lot and I think it can be really exciting and I think it will be a great experience. But yes, it can be isolating, though I don't think you will regret it! These are the things that have helped me.

* yes, as SunflowerFields said, be active in your attempts to meet people. Whenever you meet someone, tell them your situation, tell them you want to meet people, and a lot of people will actually be happy to include you, introduce you to their daughter/neighbour etc that is your age, and so on.

* if you don't speak the local language, expat groups can be super useful both for the company and for giving you tips on how to manage life in your new country. Ten years ago, when I moved to a country where the food, for example, was quite different from my own, the expats who had been there for years handed down tips about how to cook the things you missed, or told you that there was a tiny store selling imported goods down some back alley you never new about... . This kind of advice can be invaluable. I guess that a lot more of this info is on the Internet than it was ten years ago, but I still recommend that you get in touch with an expat group as soon as possible... . They can be super useful.

* accept that sometimes you will be on your own. When it happens, make a conscious effort to just be cool with it. Being on your own in a new country can be AWESOME. It lets you be impulsive, it lets you explore. Appreciate those

* WORK at keeping your support network in place. For me, I made a point of Skyping my family at the same time every day. (If I was in the house.) I'm not saying it has to be this restrictive, but MAKE IT A HABIT. It is SO easy to lose contact with people, especially if you are busy and having fun. But there will probably be some time when you have a bad day, when you feel isolated, and having those people there, in your life already, will help you immensely.

Bon voyage! Have an adventure!

Red