the "good times" vs the fact

[antjs]

my relationship course was a 5 week old relationship + one mini-recycle of 1 week. after crazy making and devaluation of one week (and my friends witnessed some) i decided to break up with her one night. previously i have booked a hotel with her and my friends as we were travelling for vacation (which was during the recycle to come later). as soon as i broke up with her i called the hotel and edited the reservation so that it does not include her. i was talking to my friends when i was taking the decision to break up with her. i was wondering whether i should wait to break up with her before or after the vacation. before the vacation, would have given me time to relax and get detached and use this vacation as an opportunity to escape. that's wishful thinking. i knew if i did not recycle with her that i would "go on vacation" , get drunk and ruminate over her and wish that she was with us right now spending "happy" times and so on. what did happen is we recycled (she lured me back next day through sex and undid the edit in the reservation herself ! [control freak]) and she did come with us to the "vacation". this was the worst vacation ever for me in my entire life yet.

the morale of the story is that sometimes we have wishful thinking of how we would have been spending "good times" with our exs while in an alternative world you would be suffering. she gave me the worst vacation ever yet i am sure that if we did not recycle, i would go there and ruminate over the fact that she is not joining this vacation and how it would have been "awesome" if she did.

[Blimblam]

yeah, I had a similar situation recently but I decided not to go at all.  Even still I thought about her and suffered.  The more invested you are the more you will suffer, I think. If you are heavily invested emotionally the suffereing is inevitable.

[christoff522]

I decided to test the waters... it was stormy. I had hoped she would tell me she missed me, and that with her being single we could maybe 'try'. No, never, she is more insane now than she was before. I will never, ever, ever go back now. Theres girls out there who want me, I'm not a bad looking chap, I have a bible and a job - I do not need her.