Why Am I so unfortunate?

[lonelyalltheway]

Its been 2 years since I broke off my relationship with my exBpdbf who cheated on me with my best friend. Worst kind of betrayal from the ex bf and ex best friend. Just can't see them getting married.

I don't deserve this kind of betrayal in my life. Why am I so unfortunate to have this kind of people in my life?

Been 2 years still not able to get over it, got it more worse when I heard that they both are getting married.

[enlighten me]

I can relate.

Your not alone. I have had 2 uBPD relationships. My ex wife remarried 3 days ago and last night I got a message from her asking if she could talk to me when Im home next. She said that she was useless, couldn't do anything right and was just a rubbish person.

Add to that that I have children with both my ex wife and exgf and Im living with BPD even though Im out of the relationships.

You cant take it personally. My exgf is 40 and has been in relationships since she was 18. Imagine how many people that is that she has left in her wake feeling the way we do.

It may seem to you that you cant get over them but you do. Im perfectly happy to talk to my ex wife safe in the knowledge that I wont go back to her or want to.

[OutOfEgypt]

We live in a broken world.  I know it sounds trite, but it's true.  The best we can do is work on ourselves and become wiser and more in touch with our selves and our perceptions so that we make better decisions in the future.  But that's not going to "save" us from ever being betrayed.  When I was married to my uBPDexw, she had a number of affairs. One of them was with a best friend I had known for about 10 years.  She then blackmaled him so that he wouldn't tell me about another affair she was having.

I remember confronting my friend on this, and he had nothing to say except that he realized he had done wrong and was sorry.  He did add, however, that "I know I am responsible, and I know I did wrong... .but you have to know... .she PUTS IT OUT THERE."  I replied, "I know... .how do you think I wound up with her?"  That was the last time I talked to him.

My ex may be a combination of BPD and NPD and histrionic, too.  Regardless, she really knows how to lure people in -men, especially.  Rest assured, he will wreck your ex best friend, too.  These people are pathological.  So, while it is unfortunate that you were hurt like that, you are fortunate to be FREE from that now and move forward with your life.

I grew up in a family that was pretty calm.  We had some drama with one of my siblings, but overall we had a pretty low-key family.  Things were safe.  Easy.  In some ways, I was sheltered.  I was woefully unprepared for the 14 years of horror I was about to experience when I met my ex.  I spent a long time cursing God and feeling sorry for myself and what a terrible life I had, but at some point you reach a place where you accept that people hurt each other but that we are ultimately responsible for our own lives and making sure we do the most to uncover our light.  The universe isn't out to get you.  I've come to see the horrors I experienced as a special cross to bear for a unique story that God has for me.  It has, after all, led me here to meet and talk with many good people.

[mywifecrazy]

Its been 2 years since I broke off my relationship with my exBpdbf who cheated on me with my best friend. Worst kind of betrayal from the ex bf and ex best friend. Just can't see them getting married.

I don't deserve this kind of betrayal in my life. Why am I so unfortunate to have this kind of people in my life?

Been 2 years still not able to get over it, got it more worse when I heard that they both are getting married.

I know EXACTLY how you're feeling. It's not just the betrayal of your boyfriend who cheated on you but it's the betrayal of your best friend that makes it even harder.

I was betrayed by my wife of 18 yrs and my SO CALLED friend and neighbor.

It's like YOU AND I were being stabbed repeatedly by our X's in the heart while they were cheating on us and at the same time we were being stabbed in the back and being betrayed by our friends. DOUBLE betrayal is a tough pill to swallow. You are made to feel SO STUPID for being abused and betrayed by 2 people that you cared about RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

Hang in there LATW. In time you will stop blaming yourself and feeling so betrayed.  Let them be married. Once a liar and a cheat ALWAYS A LIAR AND A CHEAT! The foundation of their relationship is built on lies, deception, manipulation and betrayal.  VERY UNHEALTHY!

You are better off without either of them!

Be GLAD that you found out early and you weren't married to him or had kids with him.  You think it sucks now? If you could walk a day in my shoes you wouldn't feel so bad.

Peace to you and I hope you find happiness with who,you are. Once you are happy and content in your own skin you will me a good and decent person I'm sure.

[mywifecrazy]

We live in a broken world.  I spent a long time cursing God and feeling sorry for myself and what a terrible life I had, but at some point you reach a place where you accept that people hurt each other but that we are ultimately responsible for our own lives and making sure we do the most to uncover our light.  The universe isn't out to get you.  I've come to see the horrors I experienced as a special cross to bear for a unique story that God has for me.

Well said OOE! Well said!

My blessing in all of this is that I am much closer to God and have a better understanding for his will in my life. I also have a 100% open and honest relationship with my boys (14&9).

God is good!

MWC