A Realization

[willtimeheal]

I was in therapy the other day and I finally came to the conclusion I can no longer blame my BPD for everything. After five plus years together and a constant rollercoaster ride multiple break ups and make ups I am just as much to blame. It is easy to blame her... .She is crazy. I started looking at myself and realized I have many of the same fears she does... .abandonment and fear of life. My therapist told me that this probably started.long before I ever met her. Something about him saying that made me feel better.

Then last night I was at dinner at her house. Her affect flat she told me she wants to start drinking again and she might stop therapy and she is just so depressed. She said she couldn't be the person I want her to be... .the perfect person.  I told her all I wanted was for her to be happy. She said she doesn't want to leave the house or do things. She has already traveled and she likes to just sit home. She is only in her 30s.

Thinking about that therapy session and dinner I realized my gf has given up on life. She is at the point where she can sit out or dance... .sink or swim. She has decided to sit out... .sink. I on the other hand want to dance... .swim. So I posted on the undecided board because I don't know where life will lead all I know is that I am scared but I will not allow that to hold me back anymore. I am going to dance!

[Mutt]

She said she couldn't be the person I want her to be... .the perfect person

Her insecurities are hers. She's projecting. It's hermit behavior - she sounds fearful. Glad to hear you had a aha moment with your T 

[stuckgirl]

great that you want to do this.im sure it will turn out very good.i dont know if pwBPD really give up on lives or thats a tactic,maybe just a major depressive phase.anyway,good for you to realize this!