Hi Pingo. I remember that line in the movie. It struck a chord in me then as well though I never tied it to my ex or any intimate relationship. Reading the words here, I think those words are more powerful and have more meaning than 'I love you", or they do to me. We all just want to be seen and accepted for who we are, right? I know I do. I know my ex did. Yet neither one of us were really us in the relationship. I projected all sorts of stuff on him. I referred to it as my bias for him. Looking back, I never really did see him. He was either mirroring me or I was idealizing him and vice versa. Once the initial phase was over, we both kept pushing each other to go back to the people we were at the beginning of the relationship, but it was all smoke and mirrors. Looking back, I believe he did a lot more projecting than I did, but I did my own share as well (that pesky "bias" of mine). We kept getting mad at each other for not being who we wanted each other to be. Years later and being detached, given the right mood, I can find the whole thing hysterical. Mostly though, I feel sad when I think of it. But every once in a while I get the urge to call him and say "Hey, remember when we fought about ____... .well isn't that the funniest darn thing ever?" but I have a feeling I would immediately start crying about it too.
Maybe I was starting to see through the FOG and seeing him for what he really was - a stranger in so many ways, not the man I had wanted him to be.
Yeah.
Thanks for the post and the insight. It still hurts to look back on it.