Up all night?

[mmomm]

My DS, 18, stays up all night long, going to bed at around 5 a.m.  , then sleeps until 5 p.m. His MD has given him techniques to switch his schedule around, but he hasn't used them. His classes are at night, so unfortunately ther's not a huge incentive for daytime wakefulness.  I've been trying to just let him see the negative consequences of staying up all night himself with the idea that when it becomes important to him he'll change his patterns.  I'm reluctant to nag about an annoying but not life-threatening behavior, though it certainly impacts our family life.  Anyone else have any helpful thoughts in this?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Rapt Reader]

What is he taking in his classes, mmomm? Is there any chance that his night-owl tendencies could end up working for him with a profession that has a night shift? Is he interested in Law Enforcement, or some other field where he could work at night?

I do know how frustrating it is to see your son sleep all day and be up all night, when you wish he would be awake and aware when you would like him to participate in family activities or chores... .I tend to be a night owl, myself (though I'm in bed by 12:30 most nights), and my BPD son is, too. He's not as bad as he used to be, and now does participate in family activities and helps out when we need him to. I think he is on some meds that have helped to regulate his internal clock.

Is your son on any meds? Has he been diagnosed with BPD or something else that is contributing to his sleep habits? Has he been like this always, or is it something new? Is he trying to avoid something in his life by sleeping the days away? There's always some sort of reason, I think, that contributes to this problem... .

[jellibeans]

I can see this is not an easy problem. I like the way you have backed off and let me try to find a solution but I know it must be a bit frustrating. Especially when it comes to holidays and other outings that need to be done during the day. Seems he is isolating himself to a certain degree. Is he just in his room the whole time?

For my dd she would sleep all day too but it really is not going to work for her because she has school during the day. On the weekends I wake her up to take meds and she usually just falls back to sleep. I really try not to get into a power struggle with her. Is your son ODD? or is he depressed?

[HealingSpirit]

Hello mmomm,

I understand your frustration with the sleep issue!  My DD17 has ADHD, as well as BPD, and she gets her sleep schedule all messed up sometimes, but when school starts, she usually gets back on track.  Has this always been a struggle, or is it a new behavior?  It seems if your son's backwards schedule is not causing problems for him, then it might be best to let him be with it.  Some people are just night owls.  My husband used to be an airline mechanic and my mom is a nurse. They both used to work the graveyard shift. There are so many jobs where being a night owl would be a benefit because those shifts pay more.  BUT, as you said, it is hard on the family and the social life.  

Is your son is suffering health issues from his sleep habits? Vitamin D deficiency is one issue I can think of that is easily solved with prescription supplements. Vitamin D is crucial for hormone production and other important systems in the body, and deficiency is very common in USA.  If you're worried, he could have his Vitamin D levels tested and then take high dose supplements until his levels balance out. We did this for both me and my DD when our blood levels showed low D.

Other than that, my inclination would be to choose your battles and leave him alone about it as long as he is passing his classes and keeping up with his chores, etc. Just make sure he respects YOUR sleep during the night.

Hang in there!