I think I'm doing a little better

[workinprogress]

This is kind of a long and complicated story, but, to keep it simple, I will give you the abbreviated version of everything.

Sometimes when my wife gets mad at me, she will take off her wedding ring.  Actually, somehow the wedding ring broke 15 years ago or so and she lost it.  Now, she wears her grandma's ring.  On a side note, the diamond in her engagement ring somehow disappeared also.

Anyway, it always caused me a certain amount of distress when she took the ring off.  I hate it that she goes around without a wedding ring. 

So, I don't know what I did today, but when she came home tonight the ring was off again.

Some of her man hating friends don't wear theirs, so perhaps they visited her at work today?

It didn't really bother me, and I didn't say anything about it.

I don't know if I am just tired of the whole I give everything and she gives nothing situation that I am in.

Maybe it is a good thing that it didn't bother me?

Or maybe she is trying to get a reaction out of me?

[Zon]

This is kind of a long and complicated story, but, to keep it simple, I will give you the abbreviated version of everything.

Sometimes when my wife gets mad at me, she will take off her wedding ring.  Actually, somehow the wedding ring broke 15 years ago or so and she lost it.  Now, she wears her grandma's ring.  On a side note, the diamond in her engagement ring somehow disappeared also.

Anyway, it always caused me a certain amount of distress when she took the ring off.  I hate it that she goes around without a wedding ring. 

So, I don't know what I did today, but when she came home tonight the ring was off again.

Some of her man hating friends don't wear theirs, so perhaps they visited her at work today?

It didn't really bother me, and I didn't say anything about it.

I don't know if I am just tired of the whole I give everything and she gives nothing situation that I am in.

Maybe it is a good thing that it didn't bother me?

Or maybe she is trying to get a reaction out of me?

Neither my wife nor I wear rings at home, so that would not personally bother me.  However, my wife has left the house without her rings several times in recent months to attack me in a manner of speaking.  That occurs when she has strong doubts about us.  When she is happier, she suddenly remembers all the time.  She would wear them in front of family though because she want to portray herself in the best light.  I have pretended not to notice, so I do not feed her attack.

[workinprogress]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

[Zon]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

[workinprogress]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

[HopefulDad]

My wife has given me back her ring 7 times.  The first few times was crushing.  Now I don't give a poop.  And I still have the ring.

[Zon]

My wife has given me back her ring 7 times.  The first few times was crushing.  Now I don't give a poop.  And I still have the ring.

It did hurt for awhile.  Now, I tend to play ":)id She 'Forget' Her Rings?" when she is down about it all.  I just see if she left them or not.

I am not sure that her actions are helping any as I am less inclined to care due to them.

[thereishope]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

[workinprogress]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

It took me many years to get to this point. 

[thereishope]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

It took me many years to get to this point. 

Trusting I'm on my way... .

[workinprogress]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

It took me many years to get to this point. 

Trusting I'm on my way... .

Just be patient with yourself.  Try to love yourself. 

I don't expect anything from my wife anymore, so that makes life more tolerable.  I'll tell her I love her and get no response.  I go to hug her and she pulls away.

That's all fine now.  It still hurts me a little, but I have come to accept it.  That is just how she is.

I just try to express myself and enjoy my life more.  I am thankful for my kids. 

I try to savor the little things.  Jogging with my youngest son. 

I got off work a little early today, so I just sat in my office and enjoyed the quiet for a little while.  I let a feeling on contentment come over me.

Life could be much better, but I don't dwell on that.

[thereishope]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

It took me many years to get to this point. 

Trusting I'm on my way... .

Just be patient with yourself.  Try to love yourself. 

I don't expect anything from my wife anymore, so that makes life more tolerable.  I'll tell her I love her and get no response.  I go to hug her and she pulls away.

That's all fine now.  It still hurts me a little, but I have come to accept it.  That is just how she is.

I just try to express myself and enjoy my life more.  I am thankful for my kids. 

I try to savor the little things.  Jogging with my youngest son. 

I got off work a little early today, so I just sat in my office and enjoyed the quiet for a little while.  I let a feeling on contentment come over me.

Life could be much better, but I don't dwell on that.

Much wisdom in what you are saying... .I personally am at a point where the stress has been killing me... .and I'm trying to decide whether to stay or go... .Leaning more on "go", BUT I do know that if I "stay", I will have to "radically accept" what you describe as "just the way it is", and find peace in God in that place with no more expectations... .Thank you for sharing, and for your encouragement! 

[workinprogress]

Well, I said "screw it" and took mine off, too.

I noticed today that she put hers back on.  It's funny how she quickly puts hers back on when I remove mine.

It is very funny.  I had considered trying that myself, but she would definitely use it against me.

I have realized that no matter what I do she will use it against me.  So, I just do whatever the hell I want.

I wish I could get like this... .LOL ... .Good for you!  Boundaries!

It took me many years to get to this point. 

Trusting I'm on my way... .

Just be patient with yourself.  Try to love yourself. 

I don't expect anything from my wife anymore, so that makes life more tolerable.  I'll tell her I love her and get no response.  I go to hug her and she pulls away.

That's all fine now.  It still hurts me a little, but I have come to accept it.  That is just how she is.

I just try to express myself and enjoy my life more.  I am thankful for my kids. 

I try to savor the little things.  Jogging with my youngest son. 

I got off work a little early today, so I just sat in my office and enjoyed the quiet for a little while.  I let a feeling on contentment come over me.

Life could be much better, but I don't dwell on that.

Much wisdom in what you are saying... .I personally am at a point where the stress has been killing me... .and I'm trying to decide whether to stay or go... .Leaning more on "go", BUT I do know that if I "stay", I will have to "radically accept" what you describe as "just the way it is", and find peace in God in that place with no more expectations... .Thank you for sharing, and for your encouragement! 

I can completely relate to the "stress" that you are going through.  Earlier in the year, my blood pressure was sky high.  I was clenching and grinding my teeth so much that I had two molars break.

Luckily, I was sent away a couple of times for work for brief periods of time.  I spent my free time while I was away in my motel room listening to the quiet.  Trying to calm myself down.  It really helped.

Maybe you can take advantage of getting out of town from time to time?

[workinprogress]

Wow, I have really been working on myself and keeping distance from my wife.  Now I think she is revaluing me.  She is being very nice and going out of her way to talk to me.

[Zon]

Wow, I have really been working on myself and keeping distance from my wife.  Now I think she is revaluing me.  She is being very nice and going out of her way to talk to me.

My wife has been being much nicer as of late, however, she is making sweet jabs at me.  An hour ago she eluded to a "mistake" I made with how I put food back into the pantry.  I folded the bag closed, but it made it looked sealed to her.  She spilled it taking it out of the pantry.  She said she was not angry while saying it was an example of how I live like a bachelor and do not take other people into consideration.  All this was said sweetly while hugging me and smiling.  I am not sure what this is.  Abuse?  Pushing me down?  It certainly was not a kind thing to say.

Sadly, I say this because to warn that your wife may shift tactics.

[workinprogress]

Wow, I have really been working on myself and keeping distance from my wife.  Now I think she is revaluing me.  She is being very nice and going out of her way to talk to me.

My wife has been being much nicer as of late, however, she is making sweet jabs at me.  An hour ago she eluded to a "mistake" I made with how I put food back into the pantry.  I folded the bag closed, but it made it looked sealed to her.  She spilled it taking it out of the pantry.  She said she was not angry while saying it was an example of how I live like a bachelor and do not take other people into consideration.  All this was said sweetly while hugging me and smiling.  I am not sure what this is.  Abuse?  Pushing me down?  It certainly was not a kind thing to say.

Sadly, I say this because to warn that your wife may shift tactics.

If she revalues me, that's great.  If not, then I'll be fine.  I won't let myself get sucked back in, but I will do what I can to make the marriage work.

I know all of this can change at the drop of a hat.

As for your wife, she will act like she is being loving when she says this to you, so you will be the bad guy if you take offense to what she said.