Hi all
ExBP and I were friends at first, and he crashed on my sofa as a friend in temporary need.
Homeless 2 years, unemployed 2 years. Later found out he wasn't actually homeless at all, (went between his elderly parents, older brothers, other women he had casual flings with, to sleeping in his car several nights per week).
He said he was only looking for 'friendship' with me, but seemed to demand a lot of time and ask lots of questions about other male friends in my life, for someone who was only interested as a 'friend'.
When I told him that perhaps we shouldn't hang out as much anymore, since I was becoming attracted to him and didn't want to be hurt, he then admitted that he felt much more for me and wanted more than friendship, I asked if he wanted a relationship with me, and he replied 'yes', then tried to warn me away from him, (this seemed strange since he had been big-noting himself so much to be this great, honest hardworking down to earth guy).
We talked about becoming involved, and he demanded we have STD tests before sleeping together. Almost 2 months later, we finally had those tests and were fully involved. His job seeking ended about this time, and several extreme s had already shown up.
I had already been SEX BOMBED big time, (prior to the STD tests) and I very quickly became addicted to him, and fell hard as well.
However, his insane and dangerous jealousy had already reared its ugly head, and I overlooked it.
Then when he knew he HAD me, the devaluations started big time, accusations of cheating several times per day.
One set of rules for him as per time out, (during fights or otherwise) absence, phone etc.
Always rabbiting on about his ill health and his starving all the time.
Always tired and napped several hours every day, (but didn't actually work!)
Thought nothing of showering several times per day, (never asked)
Stole things from sites I was managing and sole in charge of, whilst I was busy working, he would be casing the joints out and stealing, and would own up months later as to where he got the stuff from, (this was embarrassing and never once did he care if I lost the jobs if he was caught on camera or something).
Stole from others as well, and the community at large
Stole mail from our letterbox all the time
Broke our property, or damaged things and then accused me of having someone else at the house when things turned out to be damaged.
Broke what he thought was a CCTV camera, (was actually only a Solar Spotlight at the front door
)
Turned off one CCTV camera when he was up to something
Made out he was 'at risk of violence' from my family living with me, (the truth was actually the opposite since we were living in fear of what he might do all the time).
Damaged my vehicles, kicking them and throwing things at them.
Tried to kill me several times, once was premeditated
Threatened to kill his parents, and his elderly Father copped that threat and physical violence twice. The last straw for them finally, (after 13 years of helping their son BP out for free with accommodation, dog sitting, car sitting you name it) was September 2012, they gave him a years warning, that they were going to sell up and buy a smaller, (easier to maintain) home, and BP would have to 'move out and move on'. BP scoffed that they would never actually do it, and did nothing to help himself.
September came last year, and they had sold up, re-brought and moved, and BP was released back to his car.
For the first 2 years BP was with me, he lived at mine, but I stood firm on a violence boundary at the end, and asked that he either make an effort to change his behaviour, or he return to his parents. He flew off in a rage, vowing to NEVER return, and that he wasn't welcome at his parents anyway so I made him 'homeless'
(pfft he was back there lying about my home/me/my family the next day).
I hear from in-laws that BP is now 'living with friends' but that the environment isn't that good for him, (choke... .thinks he is Nelson Mandela or something).
I would bet that he has found another victim to parasite off, and its likely a woman, since we are the nurturing types and this is his pattern. GRRRRRR
It is my fondest prayer that (if it is a
she) that
she is smarter and more confident in herself than I was, and doesn't let him back after his first blow out act.
Oh Glory be to that... .
Roller
