My BPDw gets stuck in her cell phone forever

[Depression = 72% of members]

Not sure if this is common to BPD's but I wanted to check my experience with my BPDw with others.  My wife becomes extremely obsessed with most things she does.  So, it feels like she will get stuck looking at her phone on face book for hours and hours if we never said anything.  This happens with her reading books, playing on her phone, or cleaning house.  Usually, she will say she is just going to do this behavior for a couple of minutes, but then an hour later she is still doing it.  She will do things like say, "Let's watch a movie," or "Let's read scriptures."  I will then gather the kids up ready to begin while she runs to the bathroom "real quick."  Next thing I know, she is in there for 1/2 and hour doing facebook on her phone while we are all waiting on her.  If any of us (my kids and I) point out that she is doing it longer than she indicated or that this is annoying that she says she will be done soon, but isn't, it then brings on the anger about how we are trying to control her. 

Saturdays are often a day where she will say we need to clean our rooms and vacuum only today.  She says it will only take about an hour if we really work hard.  3-5 hours later everyone is frustrated that we are spending our whole Saturday cleaning a house that we think looks pretty darn good.  She then is often super angry that no one cares about the house besides her and she has to do all the work.  Again, if we point out that she told us it would only take an hour, she gets even more upset and often ends up telling the kids they are lazy and that is why the job is not done yet. 

During the day she will say things like the kids need to go to bed early tonight (in anger) because they have been so cranky.  However, at night, she constantly changes the game, and continues in some behavior with them until way past their bedtime.  It is very confusing to try to live according to a time she has set only to have that time frame changed and then have her be very defensive about feeling controlled when someone tries to stick to that time frame.  I have many many times been accused of being rigid about time by her.  Maybe I am?  But it feels more like she makes a time then changes it based off of her whims or current obsession, or current mood.  But, it does make me question if I am being too rigid?  Anyone else have this experience?  Is it common to BPD?         

[DrA]

Not sure if this is common to BPD's but I wanted to check my experience with my BPDw with others.  My wife becomes extremely obsessed with most things she does.  So, it feels like she will get stuck looking at her phone on face book for hours and hours if we never said anything.  This happens with her reading books, playing on her phone, or cleaning house.  Usually, she will say she is just going to do this behavior for a couple of minutes, but then an hour later she is still doing it.  She will do things like say, "Let's watch a movie," or "Let's read scriptures."  I will then gather the kids up ready to begin while she runs to the bathroom "real quick."  Next thing I know, she is in there for 1/2 and hour doing facebook on her phone while we are all waiting on her.  If any of us (my kids and I) point out that she is doing it longer than she indicated or that this is annoying that she says she will be done soon, but isn't, it then brings on the anger about how we are trying to control her. 

Saturdays are often a day where she will say we need to clean our rooms and vacuum only today.  She says it will only take about an hour if we really work hard.  3-5 hours later everyone is frustrated that we are spending our whole Saturday cleaning a house that we think looks pretty darn good.  She then is often super angry that no one cares about the house besides her and she has to do all the work.  Again, if we point out that she told us it would only take an hour, she gets even more upset and often ends up telling the kids they are lazy and that is why the job is not done yet. 

During the day she will say things like the kids need to go to bed early tonight (in anger) because they have been so cranky.  However, at night, she constantly changes the game, and continues in some behavior with them until way past their bedtime.  It is very confusing to try to live according to a time she has set only to have that time frame changed and then have her be very defensive about feeling controlled when someone tries to stick to that time frame.  I have many many times been accused of being rigid about time by her.  Maybe I am?  But it feels more like she makes a time then changes it based off of her whims or current obsession, or current mood.  But, it does make me question if I am being too rigid?  Anyone else have this experience?  Is it common to BPD?         

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[MaroonLiquid]

This is extremely common.  Facebook is a common escape for them as it is a way for them to keep from deep intimacy.  My wife uses it as a way to feel better about her own life and uses it for "attention".  We will sit down to watch a movie and the whole time will be looking at Facebook.  Raging while cleaning the house is normal.

[DrA]

maroonliquid Thank you!  It is very comforting to know that I am not the only one facing this.  I often just can't tell if I have done something wrong (maybe I am too controlling or maybe I am lazy about working around the house) or if she is really overreacting to a situation.  Of course in her mind, it is always me, but in her defense, I always think it is her with the problem.  Tough to tell sometimes.   

[Hmcbart]

My wife does the same with Facebook and her phone in general. It goes every where with her. Either texting or reading Facebook all the time. I've actually grown a little suspicious of the texting and how she makes sure she always has her phone with her even when she's in the tub. That and the way she deleted everything off of it. I'm either naive, stupid or overly paranoid.