The Revolution Theory, and other stalking methods

[Depression = 72% of members]

When I returned to this board yesterday, I stated that I would discuss a stalking method used by my Borderline ex GF.

My name for it is the Revolution Theory.

As most of you can testify, our Borderline exes copiously sift through the Internet looking for information about where we are and who we may be seeing. This is especially true during No Contact. It does not matter if NC was our idea or theirs... .they never really detach from us.

I live in a small university town. It is a planned town... .meaning that the streets are squared off neatly into flat blocks. A year ago, my ex moved into an apartment that is pretty much dead smack at the midway point between my house and the center of town. I am the world's worst driver... .as such, I tend to walk everywhere. An easy task in this neat little hamlet.

In the past year, on many occasions, she would drive by me as I was walking down the street. Not a big deal, we both live here. But then I would notice her driving by me twice. Or, as I passed an intersection, I would look down to the next block and see her driving in the direction she had just come from to pass me.

That is odd.

But then it made sense to me. She wanted to see me. She either was driving around innocently and saw me; or, she drove around the blocks I walk at about the time I would generally walk that area looking for me.

I do not use Facebook, but I do at times post on Twitter. So, on more than one occasion, I tested my theory. I would Tweet that I was going for a walk and give my final destination. Annnnnnnnnd... .THERE SHE IS!

One time, I walked past the one liquor store in town and saw her in the parking lot coming out of the store.

(SIDE NOTE: I cannot think of anything worse than a Borderline with a recent history of alcoholism living one block away from a liquor store)

I am fairly certain she saw me. And sure enough, she drove by me a few minutes later. Her apartment was in the other direction. Was she going to see her kid? He lives with his father in the direction she was driving. That explanation went out the window when she made a right turn at the next intersection.

I stopped and looked down the street and, sure enough, she was driving the other way one block down. It was a clear day, so I stood on that corner and stared down the long street to where I had just walked---and where she lived. Yep, I saw her truck a few blocks down driving towards her apartment.

She ACTUALLY drove in a complete revolution to see me.

Allow me to state emphatically that I am not making light of the act of stalking. It can be a very serious problem that can be dangerous. The fact that I am a man and she is a woman does not take away that stalking can lead to bad things. Given that my ex has shown up at my house uninvited and has a history of violence against me should make that point profoundly clear.

I am posting this so as to allow everyone to share their own stories and nicknames for their exes similar behavior.

To conclude, I must unfortunately admit that in a small way I find her revolutions endearing. I believe that buried under that 2 foot thick steel fortification that she hides behind is a little child begging to see me. Her Borderline tendencies fight against her natural desire to be near me. Sad.

[Overbeck]

When I returned to this board yesterday, I stated that I would discuss a stalking method used by my Borderline ex GF.

My name for it is the Revolution Theory.

As most of you can testify, our Borderline exes copiously sift through the Internet looking for information about where we are and who we may be seeing. This is especially true during No Contact. It does not matter if NC was our idea or theirs... .they never really detach from us.

I live in a small university town. It is a planned town... .meaning that the streets are squared off neatly into flat blocks. A year ago, my ex moved into an apartment that is pretty much dead smack at the midway point between my house and the center of town. I am the world's worst driver... .as such, I tend to walk everywhere. An easy task in this neat little hamlet.

In the past year, on many occasions, she would drive by me as I was walking down the street. Not a big deal, we both live here. But then I would notice her driving by me twice. Or, as I passed an intersection, I would look down to the next block and see her driving in the direction she had just come from to pass me.

That is odd.

But then it made sense to me. She wanted to see me. She either was driving around innocently and saw me; or, she drove around the blocks I walk at about the time I would generally walk that area looking for me.

I do not use Facebook, but I do at times post on Twitter. So, on more than one occasion, I tested my theory. I would Tweet that I was going for a walk and give my final destination. Annnnnnnnnd... .THERE SHE IS!

One time, I walked past the one liquor store in town and saw her in the parking lot coming out of the store.

(SIDE NOTE: I cannot think of anything worse than a Borderline with a recent history of alcoholism living one block away from a liquor store)

I am fairly certain she saw me. And sure enough, she drove by me a few minutes later. Her apartment was in the other direction. Was she going to see her kid? He lives with his father in the direction she was driving. That explanation went out the window when she made a right turn at the next intersection.

I stopped and looked down the street and, sure enough, she was driving the other way one block down. It was a clear day, so I stood on that corner and stared down the long street to where I had just walked---and where she lived. Yep, I saw her truck a few blocks down driving towards her apartment.

She ACTUALLY drove in a complete revolution to see me.

Allow me to state emphatically that I am not making light of the act of stalking. It can be a very serious problem that can be dangerous. The fact that I am a man and she is a woman does not take away that stalking can lead to bad things. Given that my ex has shown up at my house uninvited and has a history of violence against me should make that point profoundly clear.

I am posting this so as to allow everyone to share their own stories and nicknames for their exes similar behavior.

To conclude, I must unfortunately admit that in a small way I find her revolutions endearing. I believe that buried under that 2 foot thick steel fortification that she hides behind is a little child begging to see me. Her Borderline tendencies fight against her natural desire to be near me. Sad.

[disillusionedandsore]

Unreal isnt it? Hello... .I can see you! You are visible.  I've had drive bys, they felt like assaults on my contentment without him,  robbing me of peace of mind,  a way to force himself into my consciousness,  little does he know... .If I could only have stopped the bloody ruminations! 

He admitted to driving around where I lived years after we had split up... .This is what he does I now realise,  I am not the only one he seeks out to communicate to by osmosis! Freaky stuff.  His relationships are in his head if you know what I mean,  I don 't feel like he needs me at all to continue our relationship... .What would I call this? "On the road again"? Wish I could laugh about

it but I can't really.  I feel unnerved,  shocked, angry and powerless when I catch him at this

[enlighten me]

I avoid at all cost driving through where my ex lives. Recently ive had no choice as the route I normally go has road works. I dont need to do it very often but on the occessions I have to it feels weird. I feel almost like a stalker. This to me shows how dissordered they are as even the chance of seeing her feels wrong to me. It also shows how much of an effect she still has on me.

[Overbeck]

Hard for me to avoid her completely when she lives dead middle of my walking route.

When she gets rung up for her 2nd DUI next month, she will lose her license for two years---so she will have to adapt.

Problem: Borderlines are Navy SEAL-esque at adapting to survive.

[lipstick]

Hi Overbeck,

Parts of your post made me     My ex likes the booze, as well! 

I don't really have a name for what mine does. I just say he "creeps" my Facebook page. He watches my personal videos several times a day. Starting early in the a.m. and continuing throughout the day. It's been going on for over three months now. I only have 124 FB "Friends". Mostly family. One of the videos has hit the 400 views mark !

Yes, it's incredibly sad that they resist contact with us. Probably better for us, though. 

[Overbeck]

IT JUST HAPPENED!

I was walking south to my fave coffee house when she drove north by me. No big deal, her apartment is a block away from that spot.

But as I walked thru a parking lot I saw her driving SOUTH down the main street. She did an actual revolution.

Then, at the corner to cross the street, I saw her driving NORTH. She did a fast 180 to drive by me a 3rd time.

At what point does she just break NC and call me?

I find this cute. Sincerely. Borederlines need to stop the stalking and start talking. But that's so damn hard for them---yet, they'll drive in circles to see us.

[lipstick]

IT JUST HAPPENED!

I was walking south to my fave coffee house when she drove north by me. No big deal, her apartment is a block away from that spot.

But as I walked thru a parking lot I saw her driving SOUTH down the main street. She did an actual revolution.

Then, at the corner to cross the street, I saw her driving NORTH. She did a fast 180 to drive by me a 3rd time.

At what point does she just break NC and call me?


I find this cute. Sincerely. Borederlines need to stop the stalking and start talking. But that's so damn hard for them---yet, they'll drive in circles to see us.

Overbeck,

I have no answers for you - but your phrase is going to roll around in my head. "Stop the Stalking and Start the Talking!". 

Mine just.won't.do.it. 

[UserName69]

At what point does she just break NC and call me?

I find this cute. Sincerely. Borederlines need to stop the stalking and start talking. But that's so damn hard for them---yet, they'll drive in circles to see us.

Even if she broke NC she would probably try to manipulate you, keep ignoring her. The only reason why she is going to break NC with you is if she want's to use you to take revenge on her new bf.

[Overbeck]

UN69,

It was a rhetorical question. I usually am not even Plan B. More like the 5th option.

Lipstick,

I always figured Borderlines stalk and do drive-bys because they are at war internally. The heart begs for our presence---but the BPD in their brains just won't allow them to pick up a phone... .unless it's to wound us.