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Author Topic: Creating a new online identity. Is this common?  (Read 535 times)
Hadlee
formerly busygall
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 424


« on: June 09, 2015, 07:37:07 AM »

My exBPD friend has a fake Facebook profile under a different name, which only has a handful of friends.  The commonality among these friends is that they are all really young males, into drugs, and video games.

What is a little creepy is the persona she created with this fake profile is that of a woman very, very similar to me!  I am a girly girl Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  The BPD is a tom boy, however the 'fake' identity is very much a girly girl.  The photos on the profile have been taken from some businesswoman's site, who is based in our city.  The hairstyle and clothing worn by this woman is again... .very similar to me.  

So, I'm just wondering what on earth would be going on here.  Is this a common occurrence for a pwBPD to create a whole new identity online?  Or could there possibly be more going on here?  I actually find it all a little disturbing.
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Fr4nz
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 568



« Reply #1 on: June 09, 2015, 08:55:54 AM »

My exBPD friend has a fake Facebook profile under a different name, which only has a handful of friends.  The commonality among these friends is that they are all really young males, into drugs, and video games.

What is a little creepy is the persona she created with this fake profile is that of a woman very, very similar to me!  I am a girly girl Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  The BPD is a tom boy, however the 'fake' identity is very much a girly girl.  The photos on the profile have been taken from some businesswoman's site, who is based in our city.  The hairstyle and clothing worn by this woman is again... .very similar to me.  

So, I'm just wondering what on earth would be going on here.  Is this a common occurrence for a pwBPD to create a whole new identity online?  Or could there possibly be more going on here?  I actually find it all a little disturbing.

From what I read and from what I experienced, it is very common for BPDs to try to open a whole new "chapter" in their life after a significant relationship went south. This may include cutting completely off past friendships/significant others and/or a substantial change of their lifesytle (in many cases they adapt to new partners/friends).

This behaviour may be somewhat met in nons as well, however the substantial changes here are provoked by the ever-repeating BPD cycles. Indeed, for them it is much easier to start from scratch (and making a new life) instead of trying to learn and correct the mistakes they did, since this would force them to analyze their mistakes (and this, in turn, would induce great shame). Call it another defence mechanism they use to protect their egos.
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Hadlee
formerly busygall
****
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 424


« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2015, 09:06:51 AM »

Thanks Fr4nz.  That makes sense.

In this case though, she is pretending to be someone entirely different, a made up person i.e. fake photos, fake name, etc.  So, she would only be able to keep the interaction with these friends online.  Those friends wouldn't know what the heck was going on if they met her in 'real life' as she isn't the person she pretends to be online Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) 
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Fr4nz
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 568



« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2015, 05:09:14 PM »

Thanks Fr4nz.  That makes sense.

In this case though, she is pretending to be someone entirely different, a made up person i.e. fake photos, fake name, etc.  So, she would only be able to keep the interaction with these friends online.  Those friends wouldn't know what the heck was going on if they met her in 'real life' as she isn't the person she pretends to be online Laugh out loud (click to insert in post) 

... .which is perfect for a BPD, if you think about the dynamics of their way of thinking.
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UserName69
AKA double_edge, Mr.Jason, Bradley101
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 276



« Reply #4 on: June 10, 2015, 04:07:17 PM »

My exBPD friend has a fake Facebook profile under a different name, which only has a handful of friends.  The commonality among these friends is that they are all really young males, into drugs, and video games.

What is a little creepy is the persona she created with this fake profile is that of a woman very, very similar to me!  I am a girly girl Laugh out loud (click to insert in post)  The BPD is a tom boy, however the 'fake' identity is very much a girly girl.  The photos on the profile have been taken from some businesswoman's site, who is based in our city.  The hairstyle and clothing worn by this woman is again... .very similar to me.  

So, I'm just wondering what on earth would be going on here.  Is this a common occurrence for a pwBPD to create a whole new identity online?  Or could there possibly be more going on here?  I actually find it all a little disturbing.

From what I read and from what I experienced, it is very common for BPDs to try to open a whole new "chapter" in their life after a significant relationship went south. This may include cutting completely off past friendships/significant others and/or a substantial change of their lifesytle (in many cases they adapt to new partners/friends).

This behaviour may be somewhat met in nons as well, however the substantial changes here are provoked by the ever-repeating BPD cycles. Indeed, for them it is much easier to start from scratch (and making a new life) instead of trying to learn and correct the mistakes they did, since this would force them to analyze their mistakes (and this, in turn, would induce great shame). Call it another defence mechanism they use to protect their egos.

Really makes sense to me, my exBPD for an example has "started" a new life too. I know for sure that if she has an another guy their RS will be a disaster and after 6 months she's going to be in the same position again.
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