9 months out to the day

[greenmonkey]

It is now 9 months out to the day that I ditched my uBPD ex after uncovering lies and cheating going back the whole 3 years we were together.

We lived together for a year, of which it was constant silent treatment, rages, criticism, her not paying a penny towards anything, not lifting a finger to do anything the house and me working 100 hours a week, whilst she went off with other women.

I moved a hundred odd miles away after the stalking continued all hours day and night at the house.

So after living in relative peace since I moved, just before my birthday the calls started, which have been more regular, she is blocked on my phone so just shows up as a new voicemail not a missed call. A few days ago she was parked outside my house for about 5 minutes. Then this morning she popped up on People you may know on FB. My account is on lockdown so she can only see my profile picture, she cannot add me as a friend or message me.

I am on very strict NC, I deleted the email she used and created a new one before I moved.

I am doing very well at work and have been advised just ignore and log which is what I am doing. I will not give her any attention she wants from me. I have CCTV at home and have a plan in place for when she comes and rages at the house - which I am also expecting within a few months.

I am so sick and tired of this.

[fromheeltoheal]

That must have been a very crappy year GM, and good for you for taking control of the situation.

My ex did similar for about 9 months and then gave up, so here's hoping 9 months is some kind of magic number and she just goes away.  Sounds like you're doing everything right, with a focus on not giving her any indication an emotional attachment is still in place, which would just encourage her.  Up to you whether you get law enforcement and the cops involved, and hopefully she'll find the next shiny object and pursue that with the same vigor.  She must be in a lot of pain, compelled to pursue you, responding to emotions, having no idea why she feels the way she does, sad that, but nothing we can do to help or fix it, best to take care of ourselves.

[greenmonkey]

I work in the security industry and have spoken at great length to psychologists about the best way forward.

I have been advised ignore and keep logging if I go to the cops at this stage, it will give her the attention she is craving from me as I would be needed to testify against her in court.

I need to wait until she rages and kicks off at my house where it will be caught on CCTV, at which point she will be arrested (she is already under police caution from another police force for threatening behaviour and trespass) at that point the police will get a detailed log of everything to that date so they can file further charges, and I will not be needed as a witness at that point.

It is just getting boring - and seems to be escalating and not going away. Time will tell what happens.

I am fortunate I have a lot of connections within security and I work closely with the police as well for day to day work - all of which she knows - and yet she still continues

[fromheeltoheal]

You are much farther down that path than I ever went, mine just went away on her own, and it sounds like you have support and are doing all the right things, let's just hope things turn out the best for everyone.  Who knows, if she gets arrested that may inspire her to seek the right kind of help, which is in everyone's best interest.  Take care of you!