Batterer Intervention Programs and BPD

[empath]

Short backstory: uBPDh started showing signs of impending physical violence last Jan (2015) and those signs increased resulting in a couple of non-injurous physical incidents. At that point, I drew the line in the sand and said it can't continue. I came to the realization that the long standing 'issues' in our marriage were abuse on his part, and I held the line in the sand. Afterward, I did a lot of reading about DV and whether or not change was possible.

One of the keys that the books and articles recommend is an Intervention Program that addresses the thinking patterns and the behavior. I was wondering if this type of program is helpful for those who have BPD tendencies or if anyone has experience with these types of things?

[Ceruleanblue]

BPDh doesn't outright hit me, but there have been any number of incidences of him getting physical with me. I've ended up bruised, recently a cut on my hand, and he's scary when he gets like that. I've had him take anger management classes, as did his ex, and when he took them not long ago, he looked down on everyone there, because most of them were court ordered. Well, he's lucky I didn't call the police, or he'd be court ordered too! He is very arrogant, and tends to think he's superior to others.

The class did him no good at all. None. He's also in DBT, and he's not getting much better. He did for a bit, but he really just still wants to blame me(or in the past his boss), and take no accountability himself. I think anger management or DBT can work wonders for those who really do the work, and take accountability, and work hard to change. If they don't, it's a waste of time.

I'm realizing that BPDh isn't likely to change, so I have to really set my boundaries, and look at my options. I want this to work out, but I don't want to keep being blamed for even the domestic abuse.

Good for holding your line in the sand.