It's been awhile since I've posted, but my thoughts are never too far from my traumatic BPD relationship that ended 8/1/14. Finalizing 2014 tax returns this week has really had that dark period of my life on my mind. Between two different therapists and a lot of time on this site, I continue to believe that I am in a continual process of radical acceptance, but questions continue to linger.
Anyway, I wrote several months ago that I now am dating a wonderful man who continues to be dragged into court by an ex wife who, no doubt, has antisocial and narcissistic traits, but she doesn't seem to show any of the BPD traits I experienced with my exbfBPD. She has a lifetime of embezzlement charges--many of those charges were "transferred" to others who she has blamed for her own money mishandling and mismanagement. One of her victims went to jail decades ago, and another woman almost went to jail for being falsely accused, and my boyfriend's ex-wife was charged with conspiracy to commit fraud. Her background report looks like that of someone who should have done serious jail time, but she hasn't. It always has been a "big misunderstanding" or a conspiracy against her or... .let's just say there are more than 20+ charges: all financial in nature.
It wasn't until last weekend, while talking to childhood friends of the multi-count fraud perpetrator, that something else began to emerge in addition to her sociopathic history. She is currently being charged by our Assistant State Attorney for fraud and embezzlement she committed on her ex-husband's company. And there are lots of accusations that she killed her first husband
And her reaction to all of this? Nothing but complete denial. It's almost as if nothing happened or is happening in her mind. I honestly have never seen anything like it. Her Facebook posts are full of inspirational and comical quotes. She uses FB to show the world one of her many faces.
SO--I started reading more about dissociative personality disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder)
. The more I read, and the more I think about it--I believe my BPD/NPD may also have been dissociative. It certainly felt like I was experiencing vastly different people at different times.
Sometimes it was really creepy , but I just thought he was projecting. Now I believe that in order for him to have done what he did to me, he was calling upon different characters to play different rolls (i.e., the one who stole my credit cards; charged up thousands of $$$; and even paid off his car on my dime). Because there were other personalities who were full of love and compassion and generosity . I don't believe it was ALL acting.
My exbfBPD also has a very checkered past: a background report full of financial fraud and inability to manage money: impulse spending, feelings of entitlement, etc. He served a three-year prison sentence for multiple counts of financial fraud before I met him. His ex-wife refers to him simply as a con-artist; my boyfriend and his family refer to his ex-wife as a con artist. But I believe there is something MUCH deeper here. Both my exBPD and my boyfriend's exnpd seem to shape shift, and I'm not sure it's a conscious thing. It seems like it's a perceived survival thing for them.
Would love to hear if any of you have experienced completely different characters from your BPD's; I wonder how many may, indeed, be dissociative ?
