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Author Topic: How did i not see this  (Read 463 times)
Lexisdad
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 141


« on: December 31, 2015, 12:22:22 PM »

Just ended a 6 year relationship with a no doubt borderline. Started out as a blissful 9 months with such an amazing pretty woman 13 years younger than me who is the mother of an amazing 13 year old boy. I am the father of a 10 year old severeley disabled daughter with cerebral palsy. My ex wife and i have a great relationship and thats where the red flags were raised.

After 9 months the rage began over my relationship with my ex wife. My daughter is non verbal quadriplegic with numerous health issues. The battles begun of me having an alleged affair with my ex wife who was now remarried. The rages started out slowly then every several days. I worked with this woman and no matter who i had contact with the jeoulousy and insecurities were horrendous just for mere contact with co workers male or female.

I sent numerous emails to her detailing her accusations and behaviors. She was pushing for me to move in and something did not sit right with me. I was become petrified of her. I learned she had been diagnosed as bipolar and was taking lamictal and her dad died when she was 9. She often made statements she did not like to let men into her heart because every man has left her. Now 2013 she wants a baby. I had been broken after the birth of my daughter so i thought we could do this. She seemed to really change when i Agreed. Ivf procedure starts and for 6 weeks until the day of implantation she is a complete raging lunatic. The day of the transplant she unleashes a rage like no other and i refuse to consent to the transplant.

She realizes that she was out of control and agrees to psychiatric help. Dr prescribes her lamictal. She evens out some but still the craziness continues. Fast forward to october 2015. She once again brings up the baby issue. I tell her you know you went off the deep end last time. She promises once Again things will be different this time. We go back to ivf dr and she starts her injections again. Once again the rages begin. One in particular i tell her hun, i ll pick your son up from school but im gonna go to a wake for a freinds brother. There she blows. Im going out to pick up women and no doubt im screwing someone. Im thrown out of her house 3 times in 10 days. The following week my daughter underwent a procedure and complications arose. When i texted her she asked if i could call. I did my ex wife along with strangers were in the waiting room and she started to really go into a rage. I told her i ll talk to you when i get home. 4 hours of non stop texts of what a piece of crap i am and everything under the sun

Thanksgiving comes and instead of 1230 pickup of my daughter my ex wife asked if i could pick her up at 2. I was taking her to my borderlines family who were having dinner at 3. That was it. You drop your daughter off and you can stay outside. By now im shell shocked. I still go and am almost in tears.

The following wednesday is this transplant how can this be. Ive bought an engagement ring to propose on xmas when we ll have ivf results. The day before the transplant she explodes"we are not having a kid together" you handle the dr s office. I go to the dr s office and explain i dont know if she s gonna show up tomorrow but she s in a rage has stoppes taking her lamictal and after having a severelley disabled child already i was now concerned about these rages harming a fetus. The drs office calls her leaving a message she must be cleared by a psychiatrist before they ll proceed. She calls me in a rage and tells me this is over because i told them she s got bi polar. The procedure doesnt happen. 3 nights later i drive by her ex s bar and see her car. The same ex who she claimed cheated on her, forced an abortion and gave her a severe case of hpv which she never revealed intil 3 months into our relationship. I walk in the bar she s there with 2 girlfreinds no sign of the ex i order a beer. Drink half of it look her in the eyes and walk out. Since then very little contact because she s " aftaid of me". Never touched this woman ever despite being punched in the face twice. So here i am broken hearted and i dont know why with a 12 thousand dollar engagement ring. Just wanted to add her own mother has made statements to me all she does is lie and tell stories. On thanksgiving her older brother approached me outside as i was almost in tears as i told him all ive tried is to give your sister a house a child a husband and family and all she does is blast me constantly. She even needed me to sit next to her on the couch at all times. When i wasnt there she claimed she was " lonely" her brother said she s bipolar why do you think we called her " Sybil" growing up!'
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steve195915
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner
Posts: 232


« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2015, 12:36:06 PM »

Quite a sad story and it brings up a lot of bad memories with my SO with BPD.  The jealousy and accusations that I was messing around, followed by nasty texts basically saying how I was the scum of the earth though I actually did absolutely nothing wrong.

All I can say is I feel sorry for your pain.  There are so many of us here that can relate.  It's not much consolation for you right now but one day you'll realize you are very lucky she wasn't implanted and then you'd really be stuck in a bad situation. 

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Lexisdad
***
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 141


« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2015, 12:48:06 PM »

Yes im so happy we didnt bring a child into her craziness. The sad part is she was so amazing with my daughter and really helped me recover from that tragedy. My biggest worry now is my daughter will be reaching puberty soon and as a single dad it no doubt will be traumatic when it comes to dressing her and changing her. I feel like she s abandoned us both. There were just so many red flags i missed. The non stop rages, non stop accusations, could never enjoy a getaway or romantic evening because she would always fly into a rage. I acquaint her to my daughter. Both are beutiful but like my daughter you would not know this woman is ill. No doubt a a HfBPD. I was her longest relationship. Never married, has a terrible relationship with her sons father and her other exes cheated on her! Im sure ive been painted black and cheated to! She will never change because sadly she beleives she does not have any issues.
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Lexisdad
***
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 141


« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2015, 01:20:31 PM »

Just wanted to add. Im a 6 '1 240 pound retired police officer and literally feel like i have ptsd after being with this woman. I have seen some rages in the span of my career but never like this woman. Her own son said so often mom has more problems than a math book. She would lock herself in her room at night raging on the phone at me and her son would tell me the next day she was fighting with guy from work same name as mine. I' d hangup and no less than 90 calls to continue her rage at me.  Guess im lucky to be out alive!
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Lexisdad
***
Offline Offline

What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 141


« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2015, 01:54:37 PM »

Just ended a 6 year relationship with a no doubt borderline. Started out as a blissful 9 months with such an amazing pretty woman 13 years younger than me who is the mother of an amazing 13 year old boy. I am the father of a 10 year old severeley disabled daughter with cerebral palsy. My ex wife and i have a great relationship and thats where the red flags were raised.

After 9 months the rage began over my relationship with my ex wife. My daughter is non verbal quadriplegic with numerous health issues. The battles begun of me having an alleged affair with my ex wife who was now remarried. The rages started out slowly then every several days. I worked with this woman and no matter who i had contact with the jeoulousy and insecurities were horrendous just for mere contact with co workers male or female.

I sent numerous emails to her detailing her accusations and behaviors. She was pushing for me to move in and something did not sit right with me. I was become petrified of her. I learned she had been diagnosed as bipolar and was taking lamictal and her dad died when she was 9. She often made statements she did not like to let men into her heart because every man has left her. Now 2013 she wants a baby. I had been broken after the birth of my daughter so i thought we could do this. She seemed to really change when i Agreed. Ivf procedure starts and for 6 weeks until the day of implantation she is a complete raging lunatic. The day of the transplant she unleashes a rage like no other and i refuse to consent to the transplant.

She realizes that she was out of control and agrees to psychiatric help. Dr prescribes her lamictal. She evens out some but still the craziness continues. Fast forward to october 2015. She once again brings up the baby issue. I tell her you know you went off the deep end last time. She promises once Again things will be different this time. We go back to ivf dr and she starts her injections again. Once again the rages begin. One in particular i tell her hun, i ll pick your son up from school but im gonna go to a wake for a freinds brother. There she blows. Im going out to pick up women and no doubt im screwing someone. Im thrown out of her house 3 times in 10 days. The following week my daughter underwent a procedure and complications arose. When i texted her she asked if i could call. I did my ex wife along with strangers were in the waiting room and she started to really go into a rage. I told her i ll talk to you when i get home. 4 hours of non stop texts of what a piece of crap i am and everything under the sun

Thanksgiving comes and instead of 1230 pickup of my daughter my ex wife asked if i could pick her up at 2. I was taking her to my borderlines family who were having dinner at 3. That was it. You drop your daughter off and you can stay outside. By now im shell shocked. I still go and am almost in tears. I am a cxxt,piece of sxxt,scxxxag,motherxxxxx,these words are spoken to me non stop for 4 years. Ive never once lashed out at her. The list go s on. Sadly no one else see s it because it only occurs behind closed doors or over the phone or text.

The following wednesday is this transplant how can this be. Ive bought an engagement ring to propose on xmas when we ll have ivf results. The day before the transplant she explodes"we are not having a kid together" you handle the dr s office. I go to the dr s office and explain i dont know if she s gonna show up tomorrow but she s in a rage has stoppes taking her lamictal and after having a severelley disabled child already i was now concerned about these rages harming a fetus. The drs office calls her leaving a message she must be cleared by a psychiatrist before they ll proceed. She calls me in a rage and tells me this is over because i told them she s got bi polar. The procedure doesnt happen. 3 nights later i drive by her ex s bar and see her car. The same ex who she claimed cheated on her, forced an abortion and gave her a severe case of hpv which she never revealed intil 3 months into our relationship. I walk in the bar she s there with 2 girlfreinds no sign of the ex i order a beer. Drink half of it look her in the eyes and walk out. Since then very little contact because she s " aftaid of me". Never touched this woman ever despite being punched in the face twice. So here i am broken hearted and i dont know why with a 12 thousand dollar engagement ring. Just wanted to add her own mother has made statements to me all she does is lie and tell stories. On thanksgiving her older brother approached me outside as i was almost in tears as i told him all ive tried is to give your sister a house a child a husband and family and all she does is blast me constantly. She even needed me to sit next to her on the couch at all times. When i wasnt there she claimed she was " lonely" her brother said she s bipolar why do you think we called her " Sybil" growing up!'

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