BPD help

[S0TEK]

Can someone tell me if there is a good site for a BPD person to go that may help them? My wife told me of this site saying it may help me I know she has been on it and tell me all the horror stories of couples not working out. So I am wanting someplace for her to go that she may find more helpful. I would be greatful for any suggestions.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[an0ught]

Hi S0TEK,

Can someone tell me if there is a good site for a BPD person to go that may help them? My wife told me of this site saying it may help me I know she has been on it and tell me all the horror stories of couples not working out. So I am wanting someplace for her to go that she may find more helpful. I would be greatful for any suggestions.

this site here is not a good place for a pwBPD as a lot what is discussed is triggering to pwBPD. Places with lots of pwBPD alone tend to be very difficult to manage as pwBPD tend to invalidate and thus trigger others frequently and at the same time are highly susceptible to being triggered. Groups of pwBPD when happening tend to be smaller and are run professionally (trained T) in the framework of DBT therapy. Even there therapy may start individually and only then graduate to group.

Your wife is diagnosed and the place to go is individual therapy. She is probably afraid to do so. You working here on the board learning more how to best communicate can make a difference. Learn about validation and SET. Practice on smaller more harmless stuff and get feedback here. Ultimately it is her decision but you can help her seeing the facts in a calmer mood.

Your wife got her diagnose from different sides. She won't be able to therapy herself and you won't be able to do it either - plenty on your plate already. Generally both sides need to work their sides. But communication skills is an area where some cooperation and coordination may be possible. Have you taken a look at "The high conflict couple"? Validation is part of DBT and getting better with that has not been detrimental to anyone.

,

a0

[JH68]

My BPDw is in a DBT group on Facebook.  I don't know much about it other than what she tells me from time to time.  The group is moderated by a couple of therapists.  I think she was directed to the Facebook group by a friend who is in recovery.  My wife is also in a real life DBT group that meets once every two weeks.  The Facebook group is there in between.  I don't think she posts much. She tells me that reading about the struggles of other people in the group makes her feel that she's not alone.  In other words, I think it is validating to her.

About a year ago there was a huge turmoil in the Facebook group when one of the members died.  I believe he died of natural causes.  It was a shock to the group. Some members blamed other members for not being more supportive of the man who passed away.  Some people left the group.  I mention this because I think it illustrates what must be a common challenge to a group like this.  Blame for someone dying of natural causes is not rational.  Nonetheless, blame swirled through the group.  Generally, you wouldn't see something like this happen in a group of nons.