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How to communicate after a contentious divorce... Following a contentious divorce and custody battle, there are often high emotion and tensions between the parents. Research shows that constant and chronic conflict between the parents negatively impacts the children. The children sense their parents anxiety in their voice, their body language and their parents behavior. Here are some suggestions from Dean Stacer on how to avoid conflict.
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Author Topic: BPD / friendships  (Read 501 times)
disorderedsociety
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« on: March 23, 2016, 02:14:22 AM »

Hi, so, I got in touch recently with a girl I used to be friends with, who was friends with the BPD ex for a few months. She apologized for having stopped talking to me because of my ex, stating she had wanted to be friends with my ex but she (ex) had dropped her out of nowhere once she found the rebound. This seems kind of messy, and kind of like I'm being treated as a second option, but I don't have anyone around to hang out with so would it be a bad idea to be friends with this girl again? I'm not attracted to her, so there's none of that tension, she also has a boyfriend. Also, this does fit the criteria for how a person w/ BPD treats friendships pretty much?
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Mutt
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« Reply #1 on: March 23, 2016, 10:14:29 AM »

Hi disorderedsociety

It's good that she was honest with you. It sounds like you she was a mutual friend through your ex? Has she been dropped by your ex before? That said, did she sound interested in being friends when you got in touch with her?
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disorderedsociety
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« Reply #2 on: March 23, 2016, 11:12:24 AM »

Hi disorderedsociety

It's good that she was honest with you. It sounds like you she was a mutual friend through your ex? Has she been dropped by your ex before? That said, did she sound interested in being friends when you got in touch with her?

Yeah, she was a mutual friend. I actually introduced them to each other a long time ago and my ex found her rebound through that circle. The ex dropped her as soon as she got with him.

This friend did seem genuinely sad about all of it and we talked about getting together to play some chords on guitar. At this point in my life, I need friends and a good support circle, and that's seriously lacking so this seems like a good opportunity.
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Mutt
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« Reply #3 on: March 23, 2016, 12:08:37 PM »

If it feels right for you I would suggest to get together. Its good to connect with people.
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