Hi unicorn2014
So I'm stuck on my 10 step, continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
In ACA you integrate the laundry list traits.
I'm stuck on the one where we suppressed our feelings because they were too painful.
Maybe we can help you get unstuck then! When things are too painful it makes sense that our mind searches for alternative coping mechanisms to help us get through it. Unfortunately suppressed feelings still are able to affect us, no matter how hard we might try to suppress or deny them. It's often said that the only way to get through the pain is to allow yourself to feel the pain without trying to push it away. Are there specific events or specific types of events related to the feelings you've suppressed?
I'm remembering things from when I was 3 up until the conflict that is affecting me now. I think it has to do with male behavior, for one, my father, up to my partner. It has to do with illicit behavior: substance abuse, adultery, deception. That's just for starters.
Two nights ago I switched insomnia medications, last night or this morning I woke up at 2am, I got 2 hours sleep.
What was the reason you switched medications? Was the old medication perhaps ineffective?
It was making me gain weight and making me go back to sleep after I woke up. It did keep me from waking up in the middle of the night which I will do without medication.
It's tough dealing with so little sleep on top of your PTSD.
I'm very symptomatic right now with my PTSD and now I'm struggling with a mood disorder because of this probate case I'm involved in.
What are the main PTSD symptoms you are currently noticing in yourself?
Insomnia, the mood disorder. This medication I switched back to has suicidal thoughts as a side effect so that's definitely a no go for me as I'm already dealing with a mood disorder.
Today I'm struggling with the fact that my mom didn't raise me in her religion which caused me to convert to a religion that is very hard to practice now.
In what ways do you feel your religion is hard to practice now?
For one I belong to a commuter parish. For two I don't feel comfortable asking people for rides anymore. Three I don't want to take my daughter on the bus. Four my religion is very demanding and i don't have the energy to practice it.
Do you perhaps prefer your mother's religion more than your current religion? Or is it perhaps also what bothers you that your mother did not take the time to raise you in her religion? Do you know why she didn't do that?
I would love it if my mother and I belonged to the same religion, hers is easier. I know why she didn't do that, she left her religion when she left home.