She made me lose my mind and power

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

I met this woman off okcupid. All the signs were there in the beginning. I am just learning about this issue called BPD. She is still in my house. She has 7 days to leave... .

So I met this cute girl on okcupid. I said a few words, and she gives me her number. She comes to my house a few days later, and she had not seen my face. She mentions she will have to sleep over. Who would meet a random stranger without seeing what they look like first?

I meet her, and she was very nice, and very cute. Double d fake tits, and real thin. Within 10 minutes we are having sex, without a condom. Later that night we had anal sex, again no condom. The next day the same, really nasty sex all day, and I am thinking why is she so nice to me? Sex was her weapon, how she sucked me in.

The sex was so good I thought I won the lottery. She mentions very lightly she is living with a family friend, but she can't stay there. So I said she could move in, the second day I knew her. And she was delighted and did not skip a beat, she went and got her stuff, and moved right in. The third day I saw her true self. Out of nowhere she over reacted to something I said, and she pissed me off in the way that the most difficult evil human could not do. It was like she projected all this emotional crap at me, it was like someone yelling at you in your face, but from a few feet away. I looked at her and thought, this girl has some issues, but I let it go.

As time went on, she explained to me how everyone abandons her, how her mother didn't love her and she was abandoned when she was 12 and sent to a group home, how all her relationships had issues, that she slept with 160 men, that she hates herself, that she feels fundamentally unloveable, that everyone says they love her, and then leaves soon after.

All this simply seemed like she had a hard life. But they were all the signs of the borderline.

Fast forward 1 year and 2 months later. The emotional distress this human has caused has made me break many pieces of furniture, she has drained the life/soul out of me, has 'broken' me in some way, has made me depressed, and at times I have felt like I am literally losing my mind, and the answer is get far far away from this person so she can't spew her pain and personal crap onto me.

She has a gift for getting under my skin and pushing my buttons, and making a drama out of everything. I have thrown her out maybe 20 or 30 times. I will say leave, but she never leaves, or she comes up with an excuse like she has nowhere to go, or no money, or I end up making up with her an hour or two later. Once I was packing my stuff because she would not leave and she grabs a knife and says If I leave she is going to kill herself. I tend to not hold onto anger, so when she pushes my buttons, I tend to let go of it pretty soon, She will stay mad, she does not know how to let go... But enough is enough. Nothing has changed with this person, and I believe she has years of personal work to do before she should be allowed to be in a relationship with anyone else. An extremely toxic detrimental human being which I really feel sorry for.

[blvckdice]

I met this woman off okcupid. All the signs were there in the beginning. I am just learning about this issue called BPD. She is still in my house. She has 7 days to leave... .

So I met this cute girl on okcupid. I said a few words, and she gives me her number. She comes to my house a few days later, and she had not seen my face. She mentions she will have to sleep over. Who would meet a random stranger without seeing what they look like first?

I meet her, and she was very nice, and very cute. Double d fake tits, and real thin. Within 10 minutes we are having sex, without a condom. Later that night we had anal sex, again no condom. The next day the same, really nasty sex all day, and I am thinking why is she so nice to me? Sex was her weapon, how she sucked me in.

The sex was so good I thought I won the lottery. She mentions very lightly she is living with a family friend, but she can't stay there. So I said she could move in, the second day I knew her. And she was delighted and did not skip a beat, she went and got her stuff, and moved right in. The third day I saw her true self. Out of nowhere she over reacted to something I said, and she pissed me off in the way that the most difficult evil human could not do. It was like she projected all this emotional crap at me, it was like someone yelling at you in your face, but from a few feet away. I looked at her and thought, this girl has some issues, but I let it go.

As time went on, she explained to me how everyone abandons her, how her mother didn't love her and she was abandoned when she was 12 and sent to a group home, how all her relationships had issues, that she slept with 160 men, that she hates herself, that she feels fundamentally unloveable, that everyone says they love her, and then leaves soon after.

All this simply seemed like she had a hard life. But they were all the signs of the borderline.

Fast forward 1 year and 2 months later. The emotional distress this human has caused has made me break many pieces of furniture, she has drained the life/soul out of me, has 'broken' me in some way, has made me depressed, and at times I have felt like I am literally losing my mind, and the answer is get far far away from this person so she can't spew her pain and personal crap onto me.

She has a gift for getting under my skin and pushing my buttons, and making a drama out of everything. I have thrown her out maybe 20 or 30 times. I will say leave, but she never leaves, or she comes up with an excuse like she has nowhere to go, or no money, or I end up making up with her an hour or two later. Once I was packing my stuff because she would not leave and she grabs a knife and says If I leave she is going to kill herself. I tend to not hold onto anger, so when she pushes my buttons, I tend to let go of it pretty soon, She will stay mad, she does not know how to let go... But enough is enough. Nothing has changed with this person, and I believe she has years of personal work to do before she should be allowed to be in a relationship with anyone else. An extremely toxic detrimental human being which I really feel sorry for.

[Conundrum]

Hey there, that's a colorful horror story--though who am I to express skepticism when the litany of personal oddities we recount here could easily garner us an invitation to the Mad Hatter's tea party. However, the impromptu arrival on one's doorstep by a woman offering anal sex might be construed as a red flag by the more straight laced, though on the other hand perhaps you've just stumbled upon the recipe for world peace. It's really how one looks at things--Carpe diem seize the day vs. a petrified visit to one's nearest medical clinic. Life's a trade-off. If this isn't some fanciful tale then you have my condolences. She sounds like a handful and I'm certain you will receive salient advice forthwith.   

[blvckdice]

Hey there, that's a colorful horror story--though who am I to express skepticism when the litany of personal oddities we recount here could easily garner us an invitation to the Mad Hatter's tea party. However, the impromptu arrival on one's doorstep by a woman offering anal sex might be construed as a red flag by the more straight laced, though on the other hand perhaps you've just stumbled upon the recipe for world peace. It's really how one looks at things--Carpe diem seize the day vs. a petrified visit to one's nearest medical clinic. Life's a trade-off. If this isn't some fanciful tale then you have my condolences. She sounds like a handful and I'm certain you will receive salient advice forthwith.   

She is a handful. A nightmare. I keep telling myself, do not forget the pain she has caused you. She tends to be like a jekil and hide, and can make you feel sorry for her at times. Very manipulating. The emotions of a child. Like an overgrown damaged child in an adult body. Yes sex on the first date without a condom would make most feel concerned. The anal sex part I just made happen. You do not ask for those things. It has to be in the moment. It wasn't like she was like 'hey you wan't to do me up the butt"? No it was not like that. I simply saw the opportunity and she did not reject. Although she said most do not do anal on the first date. But looking back, that would be concerning because what women does anal on the first date with no condom? It is connected to her impulsivity, risk taking, etc, all part of BPD symptoms. She fits the profile perfect...

[Conundrum]

Well, if you're seeking advice or looking for those who can commiserate--you've come to the right place. Though you know what they say about dancing with the devil (at least metaphorically)... .

Here's a quote that you may find instructive and one that I try to not forget in the heat of the moment.

":)esire can be compared to fire. If we grasp fire, what happens? Does it lead to happiness?

If we say: "Oh, look at that beautiful fire! Look at the beautiful colors! I love red and orange; they're my favorite colors," and then grasp it, we would find a certain amount of suffering entering the body. And then if we were to contemplate the cause of that suffering we would discover it was the result of having grasped that fire. On that information, we would hopefully, then let the fire go. Once we let fire go then we know that it is something not to be attached to.

This does not mean we have to hate it, or put it out. We can enjoy fire, can't we? It's nice having a fire, it keeps the room warm, but we do not have to burn ourselves in it." Ajahn Sumedho, in 'Teachings of a Buddhist Monk' 

[blvckdice]

Well, if you're seeking advice or looking for those who can commiserate--you've come to the right place. Though you know what they say about dancing with the devil (at least metaphorically)... .

Here's a quote that you may find instructive and one that I try to not forget in the heat of the moment.

":)esire can be compared to fire. If we grasp fire, what happens? Does it lead to happiness?

If we say: "Oh, look at that beautiful fire! Look at the beautiful colors! I love red and orange; they're my favorite colors," and then grasp it, we would find a certain amount of suffering entering the body. And then if we were to contemplate the cause of that suffering we would discover it was the result of having grasped that fire. On that information, we would hopefully, then let the fire go. Once we let fire go then we know that it is something not to be attached to.

This does not mean we have to hate it, or put it out. We can enjoy fire, can't we? It's nice having a fire, it keeps the room warm, but we do not have to burn ourselves in it." Ajahn Sumedho, in 'Teachings of a Buddhist Monk' 

I just want her gone and don't want to think about her. She came and asked me for some gas money this morning, but I am staying away from her. I am kind of prisoner in my own home until she leaves. She seems to be lazy about packing her stuff. 6 more days till she is gone. No more excuses. I want to go on with my life. I don't want to care about her anymore. Caring about her was my downfall. I have read that these women are pump and dump types, that you should never get into a relationship with them. They are fun girls, to have some fun with and then disappear after.

[Conundrum]

I just want her gone and don't want to think about her.

Ah, but there's the rub. Too many bites from the forbidden fruit becomes habit--even when poisonous. And many find that memories and caring about their pwBPD linger beyond all reason. Though reclaiming our space often goes beyond abdicating them from our physical presence (but it's a start) . Did you give her the gas money, and if so, do you think it went towards gas?

[Herodias]

Sorry you are going through this, but what is your lesson here? I agree with Conundrum fully. You may have to get an eviction notice if your state requires it. Either that or have her legally removed if she gets violent with you again. Just once you get her out, please don't take her back or you won't get sympathy from the police. You are almost out. I hope you have learned a big lesson on getting to know someone. I just met a man today with a BPD 21 year old daughter. He told me he thinks you need to get to know someone a year before you move in... .I agree. Also, what if you had gotten her pregnant? It can happen with these people. Try to use your brain... .we can all fall for the devil if we let him in the door. Be careful... .be careful in the meantime.

[blvckdice]

Ok, now things have got real. She came to me and asked to talk about it. I said I want her gone. ... .

BIG TROUBLE...

I cannot even grasp what just happened. She has basically change into the worst human being alive. She broke down the door, and she attacked me. I said thats it. I started packing all my things into my car. I left some things there. I may have to go back in the night. I cannot go back when she is there. She has become dangerous. I put my things into my car, and she ran out as I am turning on the car and reached into truck and pulled out a bunch of clothes. This is bad news. I do not know what I have gotten myself into. I have a lease at that house and all her stuff is there and she starts saying she has no gas money so she is not leaving. I do not know what to do. This is the worst it has ever been. This person is dangerous. I am at a hotel. I got 3 days. I was thinking of going back to the house at 3am and getting more things while she is alseep. She started attacking me, calling me all sorts of names. I do not feel good. I feel emotionally wrecked. How do I get her out of the house? I think I need to disappear. This person does not seem safe. Should I call the cops to escort her out? Also she was growing some marijuana. I do not want legal issues. I try to avoid police. I feel lost I have a lease on that house. What if she leaves and comes back? wow I am shaking, and confused. I do not know what to do I need someone to talk to. This was a bad decision... it makes me think about her know. she was looking for a nice guy. this person seems like she has been through this before. im calling the cops to talk to them.

[Herodias]

Calling for legal help is the best bet... .Let us know what they say. Hope all goes well.

[blvckdice]

I just want her gone and don't want to think about her.

Ah, but there's the rub. Too many bites from the forbidden fruit becomes habit--even when poisonous. And many find that memories and caring about their pwBPD linger beyond all reason. Though reclaiming our space often goes beyond abdicating them from our physical presence (but it's a start) . Did you give her the gas money, and if so, do you think it went towards gas?

I somehow reconciled with this women, but a line was crossed yesterday, and we are not safe for each other. i went back to my home the lock is busted off the door, there is crap everywhere, things broken, she had taken some of my music equipment and hid it, and said that she was going to take it, because she was leaving some grow equipment, which i would never be able to sell. A very twisted way of logic she has indeed. The house smells like death, just a very sad vibe there. I am back at the hotel. An agreement was made that we cannot live together, and she must either live in her mobile home on my property, as i have lots of land, or at a mobile home park. The rv park will cost me around 500 a month. I do not know why or how i continue to allow this person in my life. I must have a weakness for her, or be really stupid. I simply do not know what to do. I have flashbacks in my head of her crying because she cries just about over anything, especially if you start to tell her about herself, she begins to feel worthless, rather than examining herself. My life feels like it is in shambles. I do not how to repair this. We simply are not healthy for each other, and this will keep repeating itself until something is changed. Maybe I should rent a small apartment to get away from her.