Breaking up with BPD

[Frog!0707]

I am breaking up with BPD but have to live with him until the house sells.  Concerned about what manipulating tactics that i will have to endure until it is over

[ArleighBurke]

Yep - that'll be painful. Are you SURE there's nowhere else you can go?

[semantics]

If yours is anything like mine, manipulations will likely include constant attempts to re-engage, sometimes plaintively, often combatively, and just as often flirtatiously. The problem being (IMO) that it is only sincere in the moment -- and sometimes not even then. (I should say here that I am still confused as to whether my ex is  :'( BPD or   flat-out NPD.) You can also expect some triangulation as there will suddenly be "other people" who have told him how wrong, insensitive, misguided, or crazy you are -- or how wonderful and innocent and what a catch he is. I confess I never knew whether my BPD partner was making all these people up.

There may be veiled or overt threats of legal action or psychiatric evaluation (against you). If he's a tech freak, don't put it past him to do key logging or phone or camera surveillance. Also don't be surprised if he's already on Match or some other dating/hookup site.

And once you're physically finally separated, expect him to bid to reconnect. I'm not sure still what this serves -- when I do it, I mean it sincerely and want to resolve and reconcile, and keep on in a stronger and clearer relationship. This weekend I've finally surrendered to the probability that when my BPD did it, it was only about attention and sex.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Breaking up with my BPD partner hurt worse than my divorce. Whatever these people are, my heart was richer with my BPD partner than with any other person in 40 years.

[WoundedBibi]

I am breaking up with BPD but have to live with him until the house sells.  Concerned about what manipulating tactics that i will have to endure until it is over

Member FigureIt is in the same boat you are in. Perhaps you two can compare notes.

How difficult it will be and what you can expect depends on some practical stuff (how big is the house, can you retreat into another bedroom, are there kids in the house too, do you have a good lawyer, is it possible for him to buy you out, etc) and on your pwBPD. Each one of course if different as we are. So is he 'just' BPD or does he have comorbidity with NPD, OCD, alcoholism, ADD, depression, etc is he a quiet type or one that begs and cries a lot?