Went to therapy yesterday . . .

[always_growing]

And was told that it's possible that my mother has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and recommended the book "Will I Ever Be Good Enough?"

I rarely bring up my mother in sessions because I don't want them to be about her/the family (that's the shame/guilt talking), but I started reading "Understanding the Borderline Mother" last week and feel much of that book was a reflection of my own life.

Can a person have both BPD and NPD?

[Woolspinner2000]

Hi Always growing! 

Welcome to our family! I'm so glad you have joined us. 

To answer your question, BPDs are called borderline because their disorder touches the borders of many other disorders. In the book I Hate You Don't leave Me, there is a great chart which illustrates how BPD is in the center of a wheel shaped diagram with pie shaped wedges extending out from the center. Within each of those wedges are the names of the disorders that touch the 'borderline' edges of that center space. Narcissism is one of those mental illnesses/disorders that often accompany a BPD.

As you read posts from other members, I think you'll find narcissism is also a common theme here. My mom was an uBPD who was also very much a narcissist. I have read Understanding the Borderline Mother too, and for me the validation was pretty amazing. How did you feel after reading the book? It can be a tough read but very enlightening.

You are doing a great job of educating yourself, and I'm also glad you are in T. 



Wools

[HappyChappy]

I think it’s great you’ve plugged into Therapy, it really helped me. Be patient, it takes time, but I found it to be well worth it.



NPD & BPD are on a spectrum. But broadly speaking, someone with BPD tends to be more impulsive, more visibly anxious. Someone with NPD tends to be more calculating in their manipulation, tends to be more guarded and cooler. But that’s broadly speaking. Those with BPD/NPD can often be co-morbid with something else. I found this website really helpful to validate what I thought was a bizzar childhood, only to find most people on this forum had similar experiences.  Also some good techniques to learn how to cope better with this all. Welcome.