So tired of the roller coaster

[Gerri]

I lost sleep last night (again) due to my 21 y/o BPD daughter.  Her long distance BF changed his relationship status to "single" and she lost it.   They were talking and she started in screaming, crying.  Woke me out of a sound sleep at  3AM.  Her Dad and came downstairs and she was hitting herself in the head and stomach, very distraught.  So painful to witness.  She refused our comfort and insisted we leave her alone.  I made her promise to come to me if she was going to hurt herself (she has a history of cutting.)    I feel so helpless.  The BF changed his status because she has slept with 4 guys(that I know of) since he left 1 month ago.  Supposedly, they have an "open" relationship but that was more than he could take.  It's obvious she doesn't even like these guys.  Thank goodness she has a great therapist and  is seeing her  tomorrow.  She's doing a lot of things right, going to community college, working, continuing therapy.  I know that the ups and downs are a normal part of BPD but this is wearing me down.  We have a long road ahead of us.  I feel so discouraged.  Thanks for listening.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Break ups are hard on young girls and especially hard for girls who experience their emotions to the 10th degree.  My heart hurts for her and you for witnessing the episode of self injury.

Giving her space while monitoring her is about all you can do, and of course comfort her when she will allow.  My d19 just went through a break up and she asked me to come over and just sit with her, hold her hand.  The good news... .she is much happier since he is gone and is making better life choices (new friends, working out, eating better, etc... .) This is the happiest she has been in over a year.

I hope the same for your d and glad to know that she has a good mom, dad and therapist.

Hang on Gerri, it can get better.  Situations are always changing.   

lbj