Introduction

[LovingOurE]

Hello,

My husband and I recently - a month ago - found out through a psychiatrist our almost 15 year old daughter has BPD, among several other mental health issues - anxiety, adhd, ptsd.  We are really struggling with her.  We took her for an evaluation because we already knew she struggled with anxiety and self harm (cutting, anorexic behaviors) and needed her medication followed since we moved.  Our daughter has been involved in risky behavior which led to her being sexually assaulted twice and then a suicide attempt (a few weeks ago).  She has been admitted to a mental health facility twice since then and now is participating in a partial hospitalization program where she is receiving intensive DBT therapy for the next three to four weeks.  I am constantly worried she is going to hurt herself.  She is angry at us over the rules now in place to keep her safe and healthy.  This is so hard.  I love my daughter so much and at the same time am terrified of having her in our household.  I look forward to the support and wisdom of this group.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Hello LovingOurE

We are so happy to have you join us here on the Parenting Board though sorry to hear that your d15 is struggling so much. 

It's good that you have the diagnoses to help get her well targeted treatment through the hospital.  Are you and your husband also learning the DBT skills?  They really can help us stay centered so that we can model the skills for our girls and remind them to use the skills... .win win win.  (And those are hard to find!)

We have many of the same DBT skills in some of our Lessons as well as highly valued and affective communication skills to help you and your daughter with self soothing and improving your relationship.

My d was dx with ODD, anxiety, MDD, emerging BPD and psychotic features at 12.  She's 19 now and doing so much better.  The support and skills I learned here really helped get me into a position of supporter and skills modeler (for lack of a better word).  I hope that you will take full advantage of this wonderful place and the compassionate and educated members who have traveled this path before you.

lbj

[tristesse]

Hello LoveingourE

Like lbjnltx I would like to welcome yo to bpdfamily and the parenting board.

Im sorry to hear that you are going through the nightmarish situation with your daughter, the risky behavior and self harm etc. It can be overwhelming to say the least.

My daughter is 32 now, we went through years and years of mis-diagnosis and treatments, but finally got it right, she has BPD,ADHD, PTSD, DEPRESSION, ANXIETY DISORDER and there are even a few more.

The main thing to take away from this is, It can and often times does, get better. Once my daughter started getting proper treatment, and I learned new skills, thanks to bpdfamily, life has become tolerable.

I encourage you to continue posting, giving updates and realistic accounts of life with your daughter, this way we are better equipped to give you the proper advice, and to point you in the best direction or arm you with resources.

Start by looking on the right side of the board, there are lessons and tools that will help you learn to communicate in the most effective way. in the meantime, take care and I hope to see you here again soon.

[Bright Day Mom]

My d16 sounds very similar.  We ran tirelessly in/out PHP and IOP programs, indiv and fam therapy and were eventually admitted into a RTC after 5 hospitalizations.  Tho RTC was our least favored option, it eventually became the only option left.

I agree with the other replies, educate yourself... .yup, this site is a great source, but don't limit yourself here. The public libraries are full of books and knowledge is power. 

[michmom]

Welcome to the community.  You are not alone.  Bright Day is absolutely correct.  The more you learn about taking care of yourself and your D's challenges the better.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to take care of yourself along the way. As they say on airplanes "Parents must put their oxygen masks on first before they help anyone else" Find information on this site, find a good therapist if you need support and be willing to learn new skills.  The traits our children have developed, by what ever means are maladaptive and if we parents aren't careful the F.O.G. can cause us to develop maladaptive behaviors as well. F.O.G = Fear, Obligation and Guilt.

Please keep posting.  We are here to help ourselves, our children and one another.