Radical Acceptance

[michmom]

Hello,

I am having a difficult time accepting that my 16 BPT daughter does not have the ability to think long term about the importants of her education.  She is extremely smart, but doesn't apply herself.  She is a sophmore and again this year will have to take 4 courses in summer school in order to stay on track with her class.  She has unreasonable expectations that she will still be accepted to a four year college in spite of her 1.4 GPA.   She wants to be a lawyer and I cannot seem to get through to her that she has to focus more energy on her studies.  I cannot find a way to accept that I cannot change this.  Any suggestions?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Bright Day Mom]

I have a college student (jr) and have an idea.   

Have your student start researching potential colleges. They typically have their requirements, along with the SAT ranges of the accepted incoming class and a long list of prerequisites, gpa's, etc.

Another idea is to put her in touch with a law student, find out first hand how competitive it is to get accepted, how heavy the work load is, average hrs spent studying vs. sleeping, eating, etc.  It should be eye opening!

[michmom]

Thank you Bright Day Mom.  Your suggestions sound like just the right way to approach this issue.  I will give your suggestions a try.

[lbjnltx]

Good suggestions.

Following up with her and asking her "What are your thoughts after getting this info?"  "I'd be interested in hearing what you think"  "What kind of plans are you making to reach your goals?"

She may temper her plans or change them completely... .as mom's we can support goals and encourage, we can bounce around ideas gently, and we can hope for the best outcome.

Let us know how it goes!