3 weeks of NC

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I miss her so much, this is so painful.  She did me a favor, she was so harsh in her break up that I would feel foolish to reach out to her.  My lack of interest and attention seems to have solidified this break and in the long run I feel grateful, but I'm still hurting so badly.  I'm not a bad person, I did not do anything that should have made her react this strongly.  She doesn't stay on her medication for anxiety, depression, and possible Bi-Polar Disorder.  She drinks too much, uses marijuana and self-aggrandizes her accomplishments and goals. 

I know she isn't any good for me, but I still can't let go of her in my heart. Do you have any advice for me folks? 

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I miss her so much, this is so painful.  She did me a favor, she was so harsh in her break up that I would feel foolish to reach out to her.  My lack of interest and attention seems to have solidified this break and in the long run I feel grateful, but I'm still hurting so badly.  I'm not a bad person, I did not do anything that should have made her react this strongly.  She doesn't stay on her medication for anxiety, depression, and possible Bi-Polar Disorder.  She drinks too much, uses marijuana and self-aggrandizes her accomplishments and goals. 

I know she isn't any good for me, but I still can't let go of her in my heart. Do you have any advice for me folks? 

[jrharvey]

What kinds of things did she do that were so harsh?

What has helped me in the past is going out with friends and never being alone. It also helps to go out on dates and meet new people. Don't jump into a relationship but just go out. Some people may not like that but I think it helps.

[SheAskedForaBreak]

She said that she was scared that I stopped by her house without an invitation.  We had been dating off an on for a few months, I had been to her house a few dozen times, and I had stayed the night there on more than a few of those occasions.  She wouldn't answer her phone so I went by to try and resolve a fight we had, it back fired on me.  She said I had accused her of things that I never said and that spending an evening getting drunk with a former boyfriend in her hometown was totally ok, despite begging me to be exclusive with her again.  We had been on again off again and this last time I just started dating.  So after I agreed to exclusivity she took two days to start acting shady. 

I just want her memory eclipsed by new experiences.  Thank you for the advice, I have been staying very busy.

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I finally sent a text, saw she read it, now I wait.   

[joeramabeme]

I finally sent a text, saw she read it, now I wait.   

Hi SheAskedForaBreak,

Yes, we have all waited for a response. Sometimes to a read text, other times with nothing more than a hope that she is thinking of us.  Sounds like she has some problems that she gets treatment for.  Can you see where she may be confused and struggling?  Also, do you see that she may need some time to be alone and sort through it?

pwBPD cannot see their behaviors from an adult perspective.  Some of us are care takers and are drawn to folks that need help, I certainly was.  And yet, it was so painful when we felt our good-hearted intentions towards them were rebuked and we were turned away.  Do you think that you have any care-giving tendencies with your ex?

JRB