I Still Miss Her, But NC Is Helpful

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

It has been over a month and minus a couple of text message from me I have not had any contact with her at all.  I still miss her everyday.  She lit up my world when she was happy and interested in me.  The cost for this elation was heartbreak, uncertainty, and someone who claimed disrespect towards me is all she could give when upset with me.  My feelings were never heard, my hurts never tended to, and lastly she would leave without notice.  I was left to "figure it out" on my own.  I'm better off now, but how do I get her out of my memories and move on completely?  On the off chance she returns I don't want fond feelings about her to rule my decisions.

[SheAskedForaBreak]

It has been over a month and minus a couple of text message from me I have not had any contact with her at all.  I still miss her everyday.  She lit up my world when she was happy and interested in me.  The cost for this elation was heartbreak, uncertainty, and someone who claimed disrespect towards me is all she could give when upset with me.  My feelings were never heard, my hurts never tended to, and lastly she would leave without notice.  I was left to "figure it out" on my own.  I'm better off now, but how do I get her out of my memories and move on completely?  On the off chance she returns I don't want fond feelings about her to rule my decisions.

[married21years]

the only thing that made you happy was seeing her happy

what did she do to make you happy?

can you be happy not making others happy?

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I was happy having someone appreciate and make a big deal out of the things I did for her.  She raved about my cooking, ability to make a cocktail, and how thoughtful I was.  This of course didn't last and I saw we were headed to a "break" each time prior to it happening.  I am happy now, just being me.  One great thing that happened is I wrote an awesome song about her, everyone I've played it for loves it.

[married21years]

I was happy having someone appreciate and make a big deal out of the things I did for her.  She raved about my cooking, ability to make a cocktail, and how thoughtful I was.  This of course didn't last and I saw we were headed to a "break" each time prior to it happening.  I am happy now, just being me.  One great thing that happened is I wrote an awesome song about her, everyone I've played it for loves it.

puddle of mud she ___ing hates me!

hehe

concentrate on what makes you happy not on pleasing others!

[SheAskedForaBreak]

I truly do derive pleasured from what I do for others.  I don't need her to continue to do for others.  When she left it took a piece of my heart I had given to her.  That hole gets smaller every day.  I'm glad I took this chance, loving someone is a wonderful experience.  There are days I'm so proud for taking that leap of faith.  My only regret is I could see this wasn't a healthy woman and I ignored my instincts.  I was partially blinded by my feelings for her and my need to connect with someone.  I'll be more careful in the future and should she ever return I will offer kind words and a hug, nothing more.  It makes me sad to say the last part, but I cannot let her derail my life any further.  I'm sorry to have to let go... .