She wants to keep the connection. My ex would do similar things... .go on a text-message tirade to the point where I just shut my phone off, and then sometimes only hours later she would send me a funny meme or something. It got to the point where I had to draw some serious boundaries. I had this spike of fear every time I received a call or a phone alert. So, with the direction of a wise counselor, my new wife agreed to be the "gate" through which all communication would happen. I sent my ex an email telling her that all communication would henceforth either be in email to me (reviewed first by my wife and deleted if inflammatory) or it would go to my wife through text, as I was blocking her number. And I did. My ex soon apologized for her angry tirades, but I stuck to it. Eventually, I got a new phone, too, and she doesn't have my number. When there is communication about seeing one of the kids, which is rare these days, it goes through my wife. This can be annoying for my wife, but she's never been rude to my wife. In fact, apparently she talks up to others about how great my wife is. Weird. But there is that same kind of weird connection. When there is a drop-off with the kids, she wants to tell my wife (and me, too, if I'm there) about all of the latest drama in her life. Or sometimes she'll text my wife just to tell her things. It's like they're friends or something, but not? haha. It has been WAY better doing it this way, though.
If there is some kind of way you can set some boundaries of communication, it would be good. Although, to be honest it may serve your interests to play friendly with her since you have a court date coming up. My ex would always respond best when she thinks I see her the way that she wants to be seen (as a generally good person who is just misunderstood and makes "mistakes". But sooner or later you'll want to put some boundaries around communication. When you do, you can definitely expect a back-lash in the short-term, however. She'll try to one-up you and get even. I think a third-party is a great idea. Can you find one to mediate ALL of your communication?
You could say all communication needs to be through text or email, regardless. Tell her anything inflammatory that isn't about your son will be deleted. Then you have two added benefits... .1) you don't have to listen to her nasty voice, and 2) you have documentation of everything she says to you.
