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Author Topic: My daughter with BPD - how do I deal?  (Read 451 times)
BPDparenthostage
Fewer than 3 Posts
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 1


« on: November 28, 2016, 10:25:33 AM »

  • What type of relationship are you in?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove this stuff over here --->   
My 18 year old daughter has BPD with depression, substance abuse and Sex and Love Addiction.

  • Who else (if anyone), in child's family, has BPD?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
I believe that I may have had some form of it when i was younger and my mother, who is deceased, had some type of behavioral disorder.

  • What is your child's strongest quality?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
She is very stubborn.

  • What are the top challenges your child is facing?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
She has been 8 months sober from drugs and alcohol and if she doesn't take the treatment we are offering she will be out on the streets and that is VERY scary to me. She has a strong case of BPD and is currently in a Psych ward and the ward has titled her for her behavior. She has told me that if she gets out she will go to a homeless shelter - not the residential facility that has a stellar reputation and can help her. She is currently in AZ, we live in TX, she has no car, $, and only knows the girls and owners of the residential facility that she was in and she just has the clothes on her back.

  • What do you find most difficult in dealing with your child?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
I can't wrap my brain around her thinking and it is very frustrating. I know that she is highly emotional and not thinking rationally and it is very hard for me to speak with her. I become emotional and that is not good for either one of us.

Recently, the past 5 days, we have cut off all contact with her while she is in the psych ward. We did this because she was harassing us and emotionally abusing us on the phone - she would call 28 times in a row. If we picked up she would yell and swear at us and tell us we were awful parents. I was drained after each phone call. The woman at the facility in AZ where she was staying told us not to answer the phone anymore because she was so abusive.

I feel horrible not talking to her and I am afraid that she is going to think that we don't love her and have abandoned her, but this is the last resort, she needs to realize how she treats people.

  • How would you categorize your child? Diagnosed? Undiagnosed?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
Diagnosed with BPD, depression, substance abuse and sex and love


  • What do you struggle with yourself?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
I struggle with trying to fix her. I want her to listen to me and my advice and take it. But I know deep down that this isn't going to happen until she is ready to make it happen

  • Is anyone in therapy? Child? Parents?

    If so, what types?


    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
My daughter has been to several residential facilities, has had several therapists - currently was sent to the psych ward because she kept running away from the residential facility she was in and then  threatened to kill herself.

I see a therapist and my husband and I attend Al-Anon.

  • What are your goals at bpdfamily.com?

    ANSWER HERE, but do not remove --->   
I want to know that I am making the correct decisions when I deal with her, I want a safe place to go where people understand me because they have dealt with it first hand. I don't want to feel like I am losing my mind and am a bad parent.

TAKE THE PLEDGE
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
drained1996
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 693


« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2016, 12:35:16 PM »

 

Welcome BPDparenthostage... .an unfortunately appropriate name you picked.  We are so sorry for the issues you and your family are facing, but we understand.  It's good to know you are seeking out therapy for yourself in this process, as taking care of ourselves is a necessity that is often overlooked. 
To the right of this page there are tools and lessons you may find helpful in your journey.  I also found it helpful to read through the stories of others... .you will find you are not alone in your struggle.  Another helpful tool for me personally was to post, I learned the more I posted, the more I got in return. 
If you feel comfortable share a little more of the backstory about your circumstances.  You've found the right place... .we look forward to hearing more.   
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