Needing encouragement through a difficult time

[dollydog]

My husband is acting out in a fit of anger and hostility towards me. This all has come to a head this summer right after we brought two foster children into our home to join our family, with our son who has special needs. Since this big transition, he has yelled and screamed at me, told me I am an unfit mother, threatened divorce several times, threatened to call out social worker to take the kids back and has told me I make him want to commit suicide. Whenever he feels threatened, he tells me I don't love him, I have no friends and am a horrible person. We attempted marriage counseling yesterday afternoon which ended with him telling me he doesn't like the therapist and won't continue, which makes it obvious to me he is unwilling to confront and face reality. At this point, I find him repulsive but feel so stuck since we expanded our family. Our foster kids call us mommy and daddy and I would rather die than give them up. At this point, I'm facing life as a single mother with three kids, one with severe special needs. I am drowning in a life we chose to create together and now he doesn't want to be a part of and I resent him beyond words.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi dollydog,



I'm sorry that you're going through this. This is a transition period and everyone has to adjust to the new setting, you, your H and the kids. I can see how difficult everything would be if you're being blamed for how your H feels and he's not interested in counseling, that's a lot of weight on your shoulders. I would feel resentful too.

Are you seeing the T for single sessions, just one on one? It helps to talk to a T concurrently with a support group. Is he helping out with the kids?