After the first session

[Leonis]

Last time, I left off at my uBPDex and I agreed to go to a joint counseling session for the purpose of being better co-parents.

We went to the session and made our intentions clear. She highlighted the fact that she felt that I was trying to get us back together; thus, given her the reason for her outrageous responses over the text. She claimed that she just wanted to focus on the baby, etc. She also brought up about the "miscarriage" she had last fall, and said that she felt devastated when I didn't believe whatever she pushed out was a "5-6 week old fetus" when she went to the bathroom.

I pointed out that her words and behaviors were inconsistent. She said that she doesn't want us back together, but yet still say things and engage in intimate behaviors that say otherwise.

After the session, we parted ways. She later sent a text about how she was sorry about the most recent encounter with me and stated that we are now on the same page. I only gave her a short response of okay.

Few days later, she requested that we meet at a park to discuss boundaries and arrangements for the child. It quickly devolved into an argument about us and how our relationship failed. The only thing I probably done right it that situation was not raising my voice because she insisted that I told her that relationship was a burden and therefore she was a burden to me.

The unfortunate thing is, it somehow winded up with us cuddling in her car and discussing her ideas of how we will look after the child that mesh well with our 7 on 7 off work schedule.

She intends to rent her own place and suggests that I go to her place after work (graveyard shift), so she could head off to work while I tend the child. Then, I could stay (and sleep) until she comes home in the afternoon. Then, I prepare to leave for work.

While that seems logistically sound, I'm somewhat bothered by this arrangement. Something just doesn't seem right.

Anyhow, she had her one on one session with our counselor this past Monday. Mine is not until this next Friday. Then, we will have another joint session on the 22nd to see where we will go from there.

My life makes no sense now.

[joeramabeme]

Hi Leonis

Sounds like you are walking a fine line.  I get the desire to reconnect.  No matter what happens, hopefully you will be highly tuned with all that you have learned about BP when making decisions going forward.

Keep us posted!

[Leonis]

I know the counselor wants to know a bit more about our history together, so I'm prepared to share my view in a calm manner this coming Friday. I hope there will be some practical solution(s)/approach(es) to our circumstances.

[joeramabeme]

I hope so too.  Best of luck.