Wife had BPD

[Klotno66]

Have been reading about BPD for years and have come to conclusion my wife has it.  Really hard to almost every night get blasted for things and hearing everything is all my fault.  At age 57 it would be nice to spend my remain years in peace and harmony.  I don't believe this can happen if I stay with my wife.

[ACObound]

Hey : Klotno66,
Pretty new to this sight myself.  I'm 58 and so know exactly how you feel.   Be prepared to be ready to move on one day and the next day look for that magic way to explain or defend yourself and make things better.  I have found this site to be very helpful.  you can get some great advice.  I learned about BPD only say 6 months ago.  For this I kind of feel bad that I should have done research earlier.  There  is alot of great articles and tools within this sight.   Stop walking on eggshells very helpful.
You will see it all through the posts, that you have to take care of yourself.  Know what that means and stick to it.  Talk about with people on this site you can and will feel better.  don't give up on yourself.

[Lucky Jim]

Hey Klot, Welcome!  I'm 59 so I can relate to where you and ACO are in your lives.  I've been in your shoes, believe me.  You're not alone.  I can't tell you what to do, but I can help you to find the right path for YOU, which is what it's all about, in my view.  Many on this site fear the unknown, with reason, yet they overlook the possibility that the unknown is where greater happiness may be found.  Let us know if you have any particular questions.

LuckyJim

[Lostman]

58 and 29 years married.  Gave up a lot over the last 10 or so years to try and make my wife happy.  No matter what I do it is never enough, or good enough.  I can not live another 20 years like this.  Stay strong, read a lot, make the best decision for you.  There are stories of all kinds on this forum and it is a place of hope.  Know that you are not alone.  Search my threads "lostman" and see my stories.  Hope they help you in some way.  Keep posting, your thoughts, fears and hopes help us all.

[SamwizeGamgee]

I'm with you on this.  I'm 46 and married almost 20 years.  I found the three letters BPD about two years ago - and that has made so much difference in my life.  Like I was given the keys to the sanatorium.  I'm much happier and healthier than two years ago. 

 I've learned so much about life in those two years.  I wish there had been another way for me to get these hard lessons in life, but, it is what it is.   I think that if I had learned about BPD in my wife much earlier I would have worked on bettering things with her and working hard on the marriage.  Instead, I just feel everything inside me say "enough."

I've got young kids still, so my situation is not as simple as getting up the courage and leaving.  But, I am feeling that I can't go forever like this. 

I'm with you in the realization that this can't be the rest of my life.  Let's keep moving forward one baby step at a time.