I don't know what to think

[bus boy]

I try not to think of what xw's BF thinks of me but when I see how he reacts towards me I can't help but wonder. Sometimes he waves, sometimes he looks at me like I'm dirt, he's given me the finger for no reason, he has shaken his fist at me in anger for no reason, he follows me for no reason and sometimes he does very childish things towards me. All for no reason. Today I saw Xw and her BF, he was getting in his truck, he nodded and waved like a man not the usual 6 year old. Xw did not see this wave, he did it very low key. I waved back. The last time I saw the two of them together she was making faces at me and her was acting like a child not a 40 year old. I wonder if Xw had this poor man in a state of confusion. She's a pro at moving the goal poasts. It's like he doesn't know weather to like me or hate me. This is a small community, I know everyone and everyone knows me, people have told me they told the BF to get to know me that I'm a good person but I'm sure he is getting a different story from Xw. I'm sure by now, the math isn't adding for him and he is starting to question. He will see wrath if he questions her.

[rfriesen]

All for no reason.

All for no good reason, you mean

As you say, there might be all kinds of reasons having to do with what your ex is telling him, or with him being unsure generally how to act towards the ex-husband, or who knows what else. I imagine that it can't always be easy dealing with that in a small community where everyone knows everyone. Sounds like you do the best you can with the situation you have, and you can hold your head up high knowing that others surely see that too.

[Moselle]

Hang in there Busboy. The wheel turns but don't hold your breath for him to understand what is happening. I doubt that he has any idea what the truth is. For all intents and purposes you can expect him to act as she expects him to act.

Our job is to live a great life. How can you detach from their nonsense?

[bus boy]

HI Moselle, like rfriesen said, I hold my head hi. S10 will always be my son. I want to get along with her BF but the whole situation moves to much, he gave me the finger, I looked the other way, he shook his fist at me in anger, I looked the other way. A friend of mine is very good friends with xw's BF and his whole family for that matter and says BF is a good man. I know Xw is a devious manipulator. Someone just doesn't like someone for no reason. I know how much conflict Xw caused between my family and I and how much conflict Xw still causes for my sister. I tell my self normal people don't do these things. It's difficult to detach but I push myself. Xw treated me like a dog and from what I see she treats BF with respect. I refuse to bring my self down to Xw level. I continually tell my self " nothing from nothing is nothing". He will probably start doing the math soon bc he sat through our family court trial and Xw lied under oath pretty bad and some of her lies were things her BF was witness to.

[Moselle]

from what I see she treats BF with respect.

Maybe it appears that way, but it's not real. Its a facade. We both know what comes next, and how this ends. The only question is how long it takes her to enter the hatred phase. A friends BPD mum's replacement lasted for 7 years after the first marriage was for 14. I'm curious from an intellectual standpoint, how long my replacement will last. And when he starts to feel the heat.

It seems in my friends case and in mine, the replacement was softer and more pliable to be manipulated.

When my ex started her nonsense with others I called her on it. The replacement seems to encourage her and even incite her 

Anyway. Not my circus not my monkies. I can teach  my children correct principles and love them. They will need to choose for themselves.

[bus boy]

 I was very easy emotionally abused and manuplated by xw, I was a good npd/ BPD source for her, she could treat me like a dog and I would take it, xw didn't get mad or upset like in normal r/s's she made you feel like the worst, lowest human alive. Her biggest thing was her hate for my family, first my mom than my sister than both but I called her on that, she got worse than ever and when she left me, she said I can thank my family. It is all very strange the whole family thing. Xw is very devious and her bf is, from what I'm told by one of his life long friends, very gullible. And from what I've heard, he has a brother he hasn't talked to in months. Xw will worm her way into separating him from his family and make life unbearable if he doesn't. That's what happened to me. Who knows and who cares. I have s10 and I to look after not what xw may or may not do to her bf. Every day gets a little better as I learn to separate my self from xw and her r/s.