Old member back after a while

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hi-

I was a member several (about 6) years ago as I was going through a nasty divorce.  Since then I've built a new life and hoped my BPD ex had also, but she is still working hard tot alienate me from my two daughters.

Briefly, daughter #1 is in college and has recently asked (through the attorney the ex hired for her and her sister) that I stop sending her birthday cards, Christmas cards, etch.  Daughter #2 is a high school senior and just turned 18, so I am worried she may also ask to sever ties.  I still pay the lion's share of college expenses for daughter #1, in addition to unallocated support based on child support plus alimony.

I have a new life, far far better than it was with my BPD, and I am now with a wonderful (and healthy) partner. 

Why am I back?  The ex seems to be falsifying payments to my daughter's college and we may wind up in court very soon.  In addition, I just want to add to the many voices who've said there is life after a BPD.  When I was immersed in Oz, I couldn't believe it.  But, thank God, there is indeed life and it's so much better!

[EBFISCH]

Hi-

I was a member several (about 6) years ago as I was going through a nasty divorce.  Since then I've built a new life and hoped my BPD ex had also, but she is still working hard tot alienate me from my two daughters.

Briefly, daughter #1 is in college and has recently asked (through the attorney the ex hired for her and her sister) that I stop sending her birthday cards, Christmas cards, etch.  Daughter #2 is a high school senior and just turned 18, so I am worried she may also ask to sever ties.  I still pay the lion's share of college expenses for daughter #1, in addition to unallocated support based on child support plus alimony.

I have a new life, far far better than it was with my BPD, and I am now with a wonderful (and healthy) partner. 

Why am I back?  The ex seems to be falsifying payments to my daughter's college and we may wind up in court very soon.  In addition, I just want to add to the many voices who've said there is life after a BPD.  When I was immersed in Oz, I couldn't believe it.  But, thank God, there is indeed life and it's so much better!

[livednlearned]

Hi EBFISCH,

I'm glad you have a new, good life 

How is your ex falsifying payments to your daughter's college?

Do you have a relationship with your oldest daughter? Youngest daughter?

The request to not send cards seems odd, to say the least. I have to imagine the attorney did a real eye-roll on that one.

[ForeverDad]

I must be in a bit of a mood tonight, when I read that bit about D#1's lawyer asking cards not to be sent, I felt like a snarky reply, "Okay if you don't want my cards then you must not want my college money either?"

What exactly did Ex hire the lawyer to do for the girls?  After all, if it's just about cards, the girls are old enough to know how to throw cards in the trash so what's the big deal?

Are you required to pay toward their college tuition?  If D#2 is now 18 and an adult, does support stop now or at the end of the school year?