Daughter with bpd 30 years old

[Happylem]

Christmas turned ugly as 30 year old daughter with bpd.. called me very ugly names..while drinking alcohol.
She sees a therapist and is on meds..
Sadly. Its been like this years.
She apologized after i mentioned to her it upset me she said this.
Which in turn caused a firestorm of other issues.
Called me aaa hole.
This after my husband and her adult brother flew 2300 miles to be with her for xmas.
Its been like this for years.
Even as a young person.
I didnt know what was wrong
I do now.
It hurts badly.
I mean bad.
Usually i can get over the screaming and name calling
But i just cant anymore
Im 60
And feel over it
She blames my h for causing her ptsd.
Blames me for anything and everything.
I have tried over and over for years..
Seriously feel i just need to resign myself to the fact i have a daughter but really dont..
I could cry it hurts so badly

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[BPDstinks]

oh my goodness, reading this makes me want to cry FOR (or with you); I won't even bother with my backstory....fast forward, 5/24/22 my (now 25 y/o pwBPD (my beautiful daughter) abruptly cut off ties with me, my husband, her sister & her sweet nieces; in the beginning, I texted her once a week, was told "your constant interaction with me isn't helping in my healing process"; I sent a text, PLEASE reach out if you need me", well...over this course of time, she does indeed text if she needs something (in the form of money, help with her car insurance, etc.) the first year was simply awful (each Holiday I cried, could barely get out of bed on her bday (I struggle with my own mental health) I ended up mailing a card & gift cards each holiday and ONE text...she usually texted me back; this year is better, only b/c I knew what to expect, still...so hard; (though, she never even responded to New Years or her bday); I racked my brain, went through pictures to try to figure out, how, why? I read all the books, researched...in any case, her parting words were "you are the cause of this, because you were not there for me when I was growing up" (I just cannot fathom this) so...I guess I don't have much by the way of advice, only, I know it is so awful, lonely, (almost embarrasing (when people ask me how she is (wish I knew!) anyway....I just wanted to say you are not alone....if you would like to reach out, please feel free