My exbf wBPD contacts me after 19+ months of NC

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

Hello Friends!
It's been a long while... .I hope everyone is healthy and healing!

I've been keeping myself busy- still living my life without my exbf w BPD and I am really doing well... .

I have had ZERO contact with him since we split 7/2015... .and just as his predictable arrogance would lead... .on Valentine's Day... .yes, YESTERDAY... .I recv several text messages from him... .out of the blue... .without any provocation from me... .after 19 months... .

19 months is the absolute longest time without communication in the 3.5 yrs of our on again/off again relationship... .I thought for sure I would never, ever hear from him again... .silly me

He thought I should feel flattered that he thought of me... .as he solicits sex without strings... .oh yes, the Narcissist is in full form... .
The mind reels... .but, knowing as much as I do about this disease, it's his way of holding on... testing waters... .bc they cannot be abandoned... .however, I learned that he is in therapy... .he found God... .and that he finally has peace and is full of God's praise... .

Oh boy... .
Soliciting sex is not of God... .
I am chuckling as I write this... .therapy apparently isn't working... .and I reminded myself of the chaos his frailty imposed upon my sanity... .

Is there a definitive timeframe when they come back---- the answer is NO. It could be 2 weeks, 2 months even 2 years... .
However, we can stay strong in our resolve and conviction... .it's like a drug... .addicts have to avoid the drug... .we have to avoid the chaos... .nothing changes... .we just get older and tired... .

Love is not comprised of chaos/manipulation/deceit/betrayal/lying
Love is patient
Love is kind
LOVE defined by a BPD is NOT LOVE... .they don't even know how to love themselves... so, don't be fooled... don't ruminate over the motive... .move on with your day and stand proud knowing you just passed the first test... .

[Butterflies free]

Hello Friends!
It's been a long while... .I hope everyone is healthy and healing!

I've been keeping myself busy- still living my life without my exbf w BPD and I am really doing well... .

I have had ZERO contact with him since we split 7/2015... .and just as his predictable arrogance would lead... .on Valentine's Day... .yes, YESTERDAY... .I recv several text messages from him... .out of the blue... .without any provocation from me... .after 19 months... .

19 months is the absolute longest time without communication in the 3.5 yrs of our on again/off again relationship... .I thought for sure I would never, ever hear from him again... .silly me

He thought I should feel flattered that he thought of me... .as he solicits sex without strings... .oh yes, the Narcissist is in full form... .
The mind reels... .but, knowing as much as I do about this disease, it's his way of holding on... testing waters... .bc they cannot be abandoned... .however, I learned that he is in therapy... .he found God... .and that he finally has peace and is full of God's praise... .

Oh boy... .
Soliciting sex is not of God... .
I am chuckling as I write this... .therapy apparently isn't working... .and I reminded myself of the chaos his frailty imposed upon my sanity... .

Is there a definitive timeframe when they come back---- the answer is NO. It could be 2 weeks, 2 months even 2 years... .
However, we can stay strong in our resolve and conviction... .it's like a drug... .addicts have to avoid the drug... .we have to avoid the chaos... .nothing changes... .we just get older and tired... .

Love is not comprised of chaos/manipulation/deceit/betrayal/lying
Love is patient
Love is kind
LOVE defined by a BPD is NOT LOVE... .they don't even know how to love themselves... so, don't be fooled... don't ruminate over the motive... .move on with your day and stand proud knowing you just passed the first test... .

[marti644]

Hi butterflies free!

This is very inspiring! Thank you for sharing. I hope I feel the same way after I continue to heal. Although I am definitely not a religious person a Bible verse I learned as a small child has given me help to understand why someone with BPD is not for me! Your lines on what love is (whether related or not), reminded me of it again! Thank you!

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This is the love I give, and a person with BPD doesn't deserve this from me!

[kc sunshine]

This verse was so important to be in guiding me as well. Such an important raft in the rough waters of BPD.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.