He's met another girl and he's starting to discard and ignore his daughters and I

[ConfusedAngel108]

I'm having issues dealing with a very recent break up with my kids father whom I was with almost 10 years.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

I'm sorry for what brought you here but I'm glad you're with us.  We help and support each other here.

Perhaps, if you feel comfortable, you could tell us a bit more about your relationship. What happened recently that brought you to us?

If you are not comfortable telling us that yet, then maybe spending some time reading the posts of others will help.

There is a lot of information here - articles, workshops, etc. - and we'll help you find what you need.

Stick around - you will get a lot of support to help you through this. We are here for you.

[Mutt]

Hi ConfusedAngel108,



I'd like to join Meili and welcome you to bpdfamily. I'm sorry to hear that, has this happened before in the past 10 years?

[ConfusedAngel108]

I met him back in 2007. He seemed like the perfect guy. So sweet,so charming. Within a week he was already telling me he loved me. I found that odd and rejected it for awhile. Next thing I know he's living with me and when in a "committed" relationship. Within a year he wanted us to get married and have a baby. I knew nothing about the warning signs of narcissism. So we started trying and finally succeeded in getting pregnant.When I was about 2 months pregnant,he decides to move to Indiana to live with his brother so he could work and save up so when I had to be out of work to have the baby we would have the money to pay the bills ( he had a hard time finding a job where we lived at the time) the first night he arrived in Indiana his brothers gf had a girl come over to do his hair. I knew something was going on between them after a couple days because he stopped wanting to talk to me on the phone. He ended up having an affair with her then another girl until I was about 6 months pregnant and he came back home to me. Then before our first daughter was even 6 months old he had ran off yet again. Then he became a yearly habit. We had another daughter in 2013 then another in 2015. He left again in April of last year and was having an affair with the girl across the streets sister. He came back home after 3 weeks. Then two weeks ago he went out of town on a"business trip" only for me to find out it wasn't mandatory and I could have went with him. He called the first night he got to the hotel but didn't call again. He popped up at home on Thurs the 9th (Feb) I of course was very upset because he hadn't called all week then I find out he was hanging out with a female co-worker that he's been lying to me about. They were drinking, going to clubs, gambling,and chilling together the whole time. When I tried to ask him questions he just kept lying about everything. He hadn't even unpacked so he picked up his bags and walked out. Next thing I know I haven't heard from him or seen him in 5 days. Then on Valentine's day he calls and he's in Indiana at his brothers. Quit his job where he was making $13.50 an hour and is now working for $9.50 an hour working inside which he confessed he hates. (His job here was outside work) he called everyday and talked to his daughters and I until Sunday all of a sudden the conversations got very short. Then last night he didn't call at all. I seen on his bank account (I still have access) he spent $128 at a fancy restaurant. When he finally called a little bit ago I asked him why he didn't call last night and he lied and said he worked late. So I said I knew about the $128 meal last night and he said he took his brother and his brothers gf out to eat... .I don't buy it.i know his habits,he's met another girl and he's starting to discard and ignore his daughters and I. It hurts and I don't know how to handle it... .

[ConfusedAngel108]

I met him back in 2007. He seemed like the perfect guy. So sweet,so charming. Within a week he was already telling me he loved me. I found that odd and rejected it for awhile. Next thing I know he's living with me and when in a "committed" relationship. Within a year he wanted us to get married and have a baby. I knew nothing about the warning signs of narcissism. So we started trying and finally succeeded in getting pregnant.When I was about 2 months pregnant,he decides to move to Indiana to live with his brother so he could work and save up so when I had to be out of work to have the baby we would have the money to pay the bills ( he had a hard time finding a job where we lived at the time) the first night he arrived in Indiana his brothers gf had a girl come over to do his hair. I knew something was going on between them after a couple days because he stopped wanting to talk to me on the phone. He ended up having an affair with her then another girl until I was about 6 months pregnant and he came back home to me. Then before our first daughter was even 6 months old he had ran off yet again. Then he became a yearly habit. We had another daughter in 2013 then another in 2015. He left again in April of last year and was having an affair with the girl across the streets sister. He came back home after 3 weeks. Then two weeks ago he went out of town on a"business trip" only for me to find out it wasn't mandatory and I could have went with him. He called the first night he got to the hotel but didn't call again. He popped up at home on Thurs the 9th (Feb) I of course was very upset because he hadn't called all week then I find out he was hanging out with a female co-worker that he's been lying to me about. They were drinking, going to clubs, gambling,and chilling together the whole time. When I tried to ask him questions he just kept lying about everything. He hadn't even unpacked so he picked up his bags and walked out. Next thing I know I haven't heard from him or seen him in 5 days. Then on Valentine's day he calls and he's in Indiana at his brothers. Quit his job where he was making $13.50 an hour and is now working for $9.50 an hour working inside which he confessed he hates. (His job here was outside work) he called everyday and talked to his daughters and I until Sunday all of a sudden the conversations got very short. Then last night he didn't call at all. I seen on his bank account (I still have access) he spent $128 at a fancy restaurant. When he finally called a little bit ago I asked him why he didn't call last night and he lied and said he worked late. So I said I knew about the $128 meal last night and he said he took his brother and his brothers gf out to eat... .I don't buy it.i know his habits,he's met another girl and he's starting to discard and ignore his daughters and I. It hurts and I don't know how to handle it... .

[Meili]

Infidelity in a relationship is hard enough to manage, but can sometimes be dealt with by the parties if the person who was unfaithful shows actual remorse and a willingness to do things differently in the future.

Serial infidelity is a different beast all together. Is this something that you can accept again if it happens in the future?