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Things we can't afford to ignore
Depression: Stop Being Tortured by Your Own Thoughts
Surviving a Break-up when Your Partner has BPD
My Definition of Love. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Codependency and Codependent Relationships
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Author Topic: Obsessing...  (Read 503 times)
UnforgivenII
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 316



« on: March 11, 2017, 02:37:57 AM »

My ex fit the description of a cerrebral narcissist. He was always studying and reading,he had thousands of books... .and zero sexuality. Even if he was surrounded by exes and "friends". I understood fully with him the meaning of "emotional cheating".
I read an article about cerebral narcissists. It said that after a crisis (and I dumped him one month ago)they become hypersexual and they prefer prostitutes. In fact, maybe some of you remember we met a prostitute at a bus stop and they hugged each other and she laughed in my face. She was old and ugly and fat.
Maybe she is with her now. And I am obsessing on this picture of them together.

I know it is unheathy for me. Please help me to overcome this feeling.
Thank you in advance
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marti644
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Gender: Male
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 313


« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2017, 02:41:51 AM »

Unforgiven, get out of the house and go for a walk. Make a coffee date with a friend, go for a run if you are so inclined. Anything to get you out of bed and back into the world. This will help you detach. If I am super down and can't leave home I research about mental illness and BPD in general. Helps me detach from the idealized version of my ex and the person they are. They are sick, and your logic cannot be projected onto them anymore then their crazy emotions can be projected onto them. Hang in there and keep busy!
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Larmoyant
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« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2017, 03:22:03 AM »

UnforgivenII, first here's a great big hug because I know how painful thoughts like this can be  . I completely understand and have been there myself. It’s incredibly painful imagining the person you love with someone else. I used to suffer this especially at the weekends and truth be told it still sometimes hurts. It’s a feeling that can’t just be overcome and it’s going to take time. The advice I got was to go with the painful feelings and don’t try to block them. Try answering this question.What’s underneath the thought of him being with this woman, e.g sadness, fear, anxiety?   
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UnforgivenII
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 316



« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2017, 03:51:06 AM »

Mainly sadness, dear Larmoyant. Thank you for your hug. I really need it.
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