Its going on a year...hurray

[Phenomenal Woman]

Afternoon everyone  its 5 days shy since I've last posted on here (I believe) but in short its going on a year that I wrote a post, "He dropped the mic and it can stay". Up until a year ago, I must have been recycled close to 100 times, no joke. But last year I found the courage and strength to keep it moving. Seeing hurt and devastation (as well being expressionless at times) on my D7 face and seeing my D6mon old at the time looking puzzeled, I could bear no more pain and further attempts to support and love someone who was unaware of their dysregulated emotional system that manifested in many ways, that a year later I dare not repeat/care to repeat.

But while its a year later, I'm still healing, coping, recovering and looking towards the future. My pwBPD commenced to getting married and attempted to drag me through the legal system... .the keyword is attempt. We will forever have a connection because we share a child but I have maintained strong boundaries of nc unless he is texting me a question about oir child. Otherwise he knows not to call unless there is an emergency. As our daughter gets older, verbal communication will be unavoidable but it will still have its boundaries and I dont anticipate that for another 5 years or so. In shortbthere has been much progress on notballowing him to draw me in to conflict that leaves me feeling in ruins. I have my T and faith to thank towards my recovery. I know its only a yea year but the way I feel, feels more like 5 already in the making. Because I feel stronger today, the ways in which he still provokes and instigates conflict is more tolerable to a degree. I will admit that I still have issues with anxiety but at least I dont sit so long it. I'm just grateful for the progression.